Honestly, it's a really good story! It's basically lemon that's not too sweet but not too sour either, just a perfect mixture. Though the story's grammar isn't too good, the plot is great. Keep that creativity up, man! I've read a lot of stories with really good plots, but this one for me really takes the cake. The lemon isn't too sweet nor too sour, just a perfect mixture. The grammar isn't all too good and it really does need improvement. I see the potential in your stories, I really do. Keep up the good work, man!

This needs some very serious proofreading. The grammar is just unbearable at some points. The dashes at random intervals make it ugly to read as well.

Needs some editing, but it’s good.