This revision makes a lot more sense, lore wise, I don't think a a Devil would be able to reincarnate the LDB, after defeating Alduin and consuming many other dragons, they are somewhere between a demigod, and an actual god. I could see one of the Maou possibly enslaving him, but even they are weaker than the Daedric Princes, I would think.

I love this so much!

Just wanted to let you know that the pacing is way too fast. There is also very little continuity. You just jump from one scene to the next with nothing really connecting them.

Ah yes, the slayer of Alduin, Harkon, and Miraak, enslaved to a shitty devil...

The reference to issue having a master should be removed. As they didn’t know about Rias wanting to turn him. The main reasoning they used to kill him is so he doesn’t join their enemies (why not offer him to join them IDK). But saying he expected him to be a devil already is just soooooo out of place.

The story was interesting, but I am out. In chapter 1 you made him out to be an amazing assassin and warrior. But them you go and make him turn into a werewolf and lose control, just to be taken out by a weak ass fallen. Every fanfic that makes a strong character somehow lose to the first 4 fallen in the story, is a fanfic that I will most likely drop.

Leaving an arrow behind in the previous chapter or Rias to pick it up also felt forced, as any decent assassin would not leave his weapons behind I’d they can help it. But it can be excused by saying he was still not in the best shape due to it being a different world and all (it would still be forced, but much less so). But losing to one of the 4 first fallen angels in the story, is a deal breaker for me.

Your story is interesting, and the MC’s backstory is well written, but I am out. I might come back later and try this story again. But for the time being I wish you the best of luck.

it's rare to see a story in fanfiction where Issei isn't reincarnated in devil just because plot or cough harem. I hope that Issei will not be reincarnated in devil later.

on the other hand not sure than you have well realized that Issei's death was a bad case of plot armor. and that the anime made it even more horrible than it already was!

the Gremory are known to treat their servants well. Rias being supposed to become the main girl and later wife of Issei's harem,
weird way to bring her future husband into the supernatural don't you think?

Raynare just "offered" Issei on a silver platter to Rias, right when she struggled with her problem of arranged marriage. like I said, just plot armor.