Attention to detail and capture of emotions is great as usual, especially the tension between the teams. Feels real enough to touch. I too wonder where the prologue is going to fit into this, but I hope that will click as you say. I've been enjoying your shorts, and am curious where a longer story would lead. Love the suggested career change for Wolf in Ch 3.

Oooh, Dreadfang is a she, huh?

Disabling their portal device before they can leave...that's a sensible plan. I was thinking of that even before the characters said it.

I find this conversation about the Anarchy weird though. Shouldn't all the characters here already know all of this info about that ship if they've already attacked it once? Because Star Fox is acting like this is the first time they've laid eyes on this ship, even though they said they had been on it. Have I missed something?

Well, I guess the teleportation info is new to Star Fox, at least.

Savanna...that's the gazelle from your previous story Burning Stars. Pigma paid his debt to her, and she works for Lionheart. Pigma's trying to get research on portals for them?

Okay good...glad you're acknowledging that Fox and Wolf have their memories messed up from taking such a hard knock. Like I said, that plot point needs some explanation. Oh, I also see that you acknowledged why there isn't a slot in the door for food. I don't think it'd be hard to just *cut* one though... Surely that'd be better in the long run and less of a security risk than constantly having armed guards deliver food and other items.

So the pirates know about Mr. B and they're going to somewhere/something called Providence, and for some reason Fox and Wolf have to be alive until then. B for Bowman? I know some people have attached Bowman to Andross' name since Dash Bowman is Andross' grandson.

Pretty good job showing Star Wolf entering the Great Fox, especially Pigma commenting this is home for him and that he knows exactly where he needs to go in order to get to the bridge, given this used to be his own mother ship too.

So Star Wolf was on the Anarchy to assassinate somebody but they're coy about who it is (for now), while Star Fox was there to rescue somebody. I'm guessing that the person Star Wolf was sent to assassinate was the same person that Star Fox was there to rescue, and this is probably going to lead to some conflict later.

You know, if it's that hard to figure out where the Anarchy is, then the story should probably get around to explaining how both teams ended up there at the same time...particularly if Star Fox didn't know about the teleportation technology. I'd imagine if Corneria with their resources has a hard time tracking it down, it'd be an order of magnitude more difficult for two small mercenary teams to pull that off at the same time. They don't have Corneria's surveillance network, after all.

By the way nice tie in to the ending of Star Fox Zero, where we find out the full extent of Andross' control over teleporting through other dimensions.

Also, I wonder how Wolf and Fox lost their memories, given that their dialogue wouldn't make sense if they were still aware of why they had been on the Anarchy in the first place. Perhaps the stun bolts they got blasted with also cause short term memory loss? I think that's another thing the story should get around to explaining as well too.

Now I know I haven't expressed much of an opinion yet on whether or not I like these plot developments, but I think it's too early to say right now. I think I need to see more on where you go with this before I can say if I like it or not.

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Notice the chapter didn't reveal who the survivor is, and who the cargo is. I'm guessing you're waiting until later to reveal who these people are then, and why they're on Macbeth. Like to set up some mystery and intrigue to get me to read further, in the hopes of finding out who they are.

At first, I didn't like the lack of context in this prologue though. As I read along I kept thinking "Who's this guy? Is he Wolf? Is he Fox? Where's Wolf and Fox? How's this connect to Burning Stars?" Basically, I found myself searching for a way to orient myself rather than stopping to enjoy the text, especially since the summary stressed the importance of Fox and Wolf in this story.

All that being said, once the unknown person suddenly got excited about being the survivor-switching from horror to joy-it did get a lot more fun to read. Maybe it's because it adds a lot more character to this unknown person, and suddenly he became a lot more interesting. He was no longer just some guy...this revealed he might actually be a bit crazy and psychotic. Good touch there. The end of the chapter was much better than the beginning because of that.

So this ship crashed into this base, this guy staggered out of it, he apparently worked here since he mentioned that during his struggle, and he identified the hooded figure as 'cargo' and he's got thin, boney fingers covered in brown hair and pink skin...tipped with dark claws...who may or may not have mystical powers. Not sure if that's an existing Star Fox character or if it's someone else.

Not sure why you chose to open with this but I guess I'll keep reading and see where it goes. Too early to say if this was a good or bad idea for a prologue.

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All right, here's Wolf and Fox, like the summary was talking about. And just like the characters, I'm finding myself reading along and hoping that what's going on will be revealed. Of course it's too early for that though. The tiger says the ship's name is the Anarchy and the captain is Dreadfang. Although that's just about the only info we get, and it doesn't mean a lot to me yet, but I'm sure it will before long.

"There isn't even high security. No camera." Unless the camera is very well hidden :P Or they're monitoring you by other means.

You know, in IRL solitary confinement cells, there's no need for the guard to open the door to feed the prisoner. There's just a slot they toss the tray in through, and they don't care if the food falls off the tray and lands on the cell's floor. Of course that wouldn't be as dramatic as the door opening up to reveal this tiger guy though :P I'm guessing I should keep that iguana and coyote in mind for later too.

Good note to end on with the remaining Star Fox members being forced to cooperate with Star Wolf. It's a great cliffhanger. Of course you don't really tell us *why* this is happening at the moment but I'm guessing you're saving that tantalizing info for next chapter :)