Great chapter! Thanks!

Fantastic series so far with enough different from the Canon to make things great!

dennisud

This Hermione should play rugby or American Football! ;)

Really good chapters. I really like how you are writing the story and how you specify the POV in the title of each chapter. Great job and I can’t wait for more xx

"beyond our control that we ended up there"? Really? It wasn't beyond their control to go into the room at the end of the third floor corridor. Harry should have tried to get Clara to come to them BEFORE going into that room. I wonder if this will teach the others not to go where they shouldn't? Probably not.

First and foremost, you deserve both to be congratulated and thanked for your contribution in the fan community of Harry Potter – the contribution in the H/Hr community especially. You deserve to be praised for writing an already novel-length fiction.

To begin with, this introductory chapter of your story could be summarised with a single word: "immersive". Indeed, one may feel immersed from the beginning to the end. This feat is achieved by the fact that we are already in "active scene" – it is a "passive scene" that is not only reduced to description. As soon as I started reading, I felt truly immersed in the story as if I was a witness character.

Next, the medium slow pacing is well executed. It includes a detailed description of the elements – whether they are characters, objects or immaterial components, and more. Nonetheless, there seems to be an opposition between the pacing and the "passive scene" – which is explained before – that leads to a compromise: some elements are described while others are not. E.g., there is no detailed background of characters while their physical or attire is being shown.

Nevertheless, this being a piece of fan fiction, does not remove some feelings of déjà-vu when it come down to fanon concepts and version of canon notions: "Godfather by right of ritual", minor abuse of non-wanded magic, the unproven ancestry of James Potter's parents - if Charlus Potter is his father here, the "Most Ancient and Noble House". However, the latter is the title of this story so it's expected to see that theme being used. In the writer's defence, déjà-vu can be found in most literature productions - it's not wrong in our context. On the contrary, I welcome these versions and concepts in this expected-to-be chef-d'œuvre.

At last, the contents of this prologue set a good premise for a promising novel-length piece of fiction. Sirius gets a trial and is proven innocent. I found it funny how it only required to show the absence of the Dark Mark to make the one side - that needs a beginner guide to corruption - look like fools. I will not lie that I expected at some point to have a Wizarding version John Bercow put some people in their place.

I'm looking forwards to explore what you've plotted. This has been a refreshing prologue, which is well written. Good job mate: 8.7/10.

Great chapter.

Excellent chapter

I would not expect anything less Sirius

Confusing to say. You start off from Dumbledore's point of view and you never return to it. Stopping his thought process to your readers. then you start with Lord Blacks thoughts and then events never going back to them then to what's happening in the chamber. Trying for to many things in one chapter and to keep the story moving. I have the gist of what your trying. Had to re-read it a to make sure, I think.

Great chapter! Thanks!

first year done now the summer and 2nd year

Oh? I wonder what Sirius has planned?

cool ending. the ceiling coming down wasn't really explained. awaiting more.

Harry should be paired with both daphne and Hermione