You listen Metal Music too?, We'll going to be good friends jeje

Respect to the question, you actually write more stories, i like yor writing method

That's chapter 1 folks. I might continue this one faster than the other story i published (" Agent Gunderson", which i would be grateful if you also checked it out) Feel free to leave some reviews and i will answer them in the next chapter. Stay safe, stay home, and stay healthy. Peace out.

The message you'll edit out at the end. YOU CAN'T HIDE YOUR SECRETS BTIHC

the ending was perfect and wonderful

You took into account the part where the jewel learns to fly (that part is still difficult for me because the jewel is not as strong as Blu) luck with your stories friend

Atte: Jaqui

Well Jewel is now flying, wonder if Blu will become more trustworthy towards Linda and Tulio

Call the sequel 'Desrever 2 Oir' or '2 Desrever Oir'.
I congratulate you in finishing a story, which is something I seem to be incapable of doing. I would've liked it if the sexes were reversed for almost every character. (Nigel, Fernando, the smugglers, Nico and Pedro could be girls. All that needed to be done is to find a feminine name that resembled their original names. Alternatively they could go under a completely different name.) I understand why you didn't do this, but I felt like it would make it even more unique.

I don't like the line ''see you in hell'', as it implies the person saying it will also go to hell. A better line would be ''Have fun in hell!'', or ''Tell the devil I sent ya!''. I know they're all cheesy lines, but who cares apart from French people who like cheesy things lol. I am not funny. Please ignore this paragraph, its stupid.

I do like the decision to have Blu fight Nigel, and have a different fight scene than the one in the movie. I expected you to just swap the characters. (Jewel fights Nigel, and Blu gets his wing broken) I also like how they aren't able to fly while carrying each other. Honestly I never realised how unrealistic it was for them to be able to fly whilst weighing double what they normally do. I will still include them carrying each other in my stories, though.

All in all, (its just another brick in the wall ecksdee) I am surprised by this story. For a second story (I do remember Agent Gunderson, you can't hide your past from me) this was actually pretty good. Keep on writing and improving, maybe you will write something truly amazing one day.

Sincerely,
Proffesor Ass Spiders

oH nO i WoNdEr WhAt WiLl HaPpEn NeXt?

Anyway, I am jealous that you can complete stories quickly, unlike me. Although, I once wrote 5 chapters in a day.
Well, I can't wait for chapter 9 to come out. (well I technically can)

...

excellent chapter my friend, I also imagined the Blu character who would be kidnapped by Nigel if he were a wild bird (if the roles changed)

excellent change you made with linda, tulio and fernando. keep writing friend

Atte: Jaqui

Well how are Blu and Jewel going to get out of this situation

I loved the chapter my friend

I hope the jewel and Blu are reconciled, do not stop writing friend

Atte: Jaqui

well how are Jewel and Blu going to make up, hope that they do soon

excellent chapter friend you changed some things do not stop writing friend

Atte: Jaqui

Well let’s hope that Blu will start to warm up to Jewel

I loved the change in attitude you made with Eva and Rafael, but one question
Eva sings the same as in the movie or is Rafael the one who sings very badly?

keep writing friend and thanks for your comment

Atte: Jaqui