Thank you for your one-shot! This is wonderful. I like how she comfort him. You wrote it well, short but filled with much emotions.

I like how she comfort him. I feel bad for his mom and hope it can heal.

This is good fic, thank you for writing this.

Nani! You can't just stop there! Mooooaaaaaar

Good job!

This is good, please continue.

Excellent one shot over all. Tbh, surprising that this is the same person who also wrote konstantine ;p

The simultaneously best and worst thing of this story is narration, which is crisp, simple and effective. The writing style is extremely clean...almost clinical if I could say, but it's a good kind of clinical. However the narration comes off a utilitarian, at some points it's really into your face. Because the writing is clinical, the narration in the first part doesn't convey the melancholic atmosphere or even foreshadow the next part that effectively. Still, the sheer surprise factor makes up for it.

There's nothing wrong with dialogues imo.

Also, better word choices could be made at some places. For instance, "soft pattering of rain drops", instead of "soft sound of rain drops echoing" etc.

ah.. this was way too sudden. post canon? or au?
but it was good, waiting for the next one

They say brevity is the soul of wit. You've created quite the narrative slice here. You've eliminated contextual details, focusing the reader in the now. An excellent move, since it builds curiosity and entices in the reader. The emotional roller-coaster you bring us on, a short ride, but I my breath was hitched the entire time. Yukinoshita's calming presence came across in writing, and it served to tie the short-story together. It may be tragic, but you use the tragedy to get the characters and readers to feel. I look forward to seeing more.