Love it. I especially loved that you called me out for being annoying in your final AN. It means a lot to me. If I had money, I would pay you to make "Mother 3 rambling" a meme.

Anyway, I wrote a fic relatively similar in terms of it being a story from the past, except instead of a plain flashback, it was Callie telling Agent 4 a story while they were waiting at the doctor's office. After I finished writing the flashback and a brief part where Foru goes home confused, I thought that I was done. But then I started getting reviews, likes, follows, and a strange urge to write more. I continued the story, but not as the flashback Callie explained to Four, but as a new tale that referenced the memory every now and then.

I really think you should do something like that. For example, why are they in house arrest? What happens next? When will be the next time they see one another? When does it take place? Why does it take place? I don't really like sequels to stories here on FFN, and I think it's really cool when authors continue old works. Just saying.

Also, Mother 3

I don't know why, but when reading this, I was reminded of the "I'm getting real tired of your squit, Marie." meme. I can't seemed to find any similarities between your fic and the meme, but it just reminds me of it. Good story, but it reminds me of that meme. Take that as a compliments

Cool. I like where this is going, and yes, I am the same person who gave you thirty-five "Constructive criticisms" last chapter. Most relatable part EVER:
Marie: That crap was crazy! CRAZY!
Callie: And badass.
Marie: nani?!
Callie: It was badass.
That is likely something I would say in a similar situation. Also, THANK YOU FOR BEING THE ONLY OTHER PERSON ON THIS PLANET to notice that Agent 4's outfit is ALSO a hand-me-down. I see a lot of images where both Agents 1 and 2 where the Agent 3 thingy, but that would only make sense in the context of the Splatoon manga where there's 2 Agent 3's and 3 Agent 4's. Otherwise, if both girls wore the Agent 3 thingy, would Agent 4 likely wear the same thing as Agent 3? I'M SO GLAD YOU ALSO NOTICED THAT THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Can't wait for the next chapter I guess?
Also play Mother 3 it's a really fun game there's a fan-translation on a website called KBH games thanks

Another month, another chapter I suppose. Now, for today’s highlights, sponsored by The Factory, the company who’s there for you when you need something... anything!

1) ”... Do you have brain cancer?” Nope, I think that emo girl’s just under the effect of some cognitohazards. I suggest getting an exorcism, they really help.

2) ”Ink everywhere. So much death. I bet someone got decapitated.” Hooray for teenagers being psychotic! Seriously, I’ll never understand most shooter games and why teenagers like them, aside from blood. I’ll have to ask my friend soon, too busy nuking cities in Civilization 6.

3) ”...Ok, you’re good... but I’ve tried boxing before!” There are two thing that’s I’m thinking here: the first is that Callie tried boxing once and quit, and the second is that she played way too much Wii Sports, or whatever the Inkling equivalent is.

And that’s all for today! Next time, we’ll see [DATA MISSING] unfurl, so remember to stick around till next time!

Fight For All Fiction,
Zygarde

Hi! I'm a writer of ironic fics. I don't know about you, but I love the happiness I get when I receive a comment saying "This is crap!" Hate comments are my favorite things to get as an ironic fic writer, so I hope you're also a writer of irony, 'cuz this is kinda a piece of crap. No offense or anything, just some "constructive criticisms" about your work. Sure, I love your writing style. I loved the tranquiliser scene. But.. I guess I just am not the biggest fan of romance. I hate romance. Possibly because of a childhood trauma that I remember, but that could be irrelevant and I just happen to hate romance.

However, I think the main thing that drove me crazy was the character portrayal. I don't know about you, but I have found that Splatoon 2 is basically the same story as Mother 3. If you haven't heard of that, go play it. It is REALLY fun. Back to the "constructive criticism", sorry. In Mother 3, there are these boys. They're twin brothers and are best friends. Claus is jumpy and energetic, while his younger twin brother, Lucas, is quiet, gental, and a few times referred to as spoiled. However, the boys are struck by tragedy, so Claus runs away to fix his family problems, but vanishes, leaves Lucas alone with his neglectful father. Lucas is struck by all the events going on, and becomes even more quiet, but less and less gental, and leaves his spoiled self behind. I tend to find Lucas and Marie to be quite similar, both before and after loosing their friend, and having a similar change in character. If they Hasashi Nagomi decides to give Marie psychic powers in Splatoon 3, GO AHEAD I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

Back on topic, sorry. Unless something happens to Marie over the course of your story to change her into the shy and spoiled self, I don't understand why she's so outgoing. It doesn't seem to fit her. Nintendo states that when the cousins first went to the big city, Marie was too scared to talk to anyone. that doesn't seem to be her in this, but... okey?

Now, moving on to my favorite idol, Callie. Callie's my favorite because she reminds me of a time when I was at a summer camp, and one of the kids there had a Callie doll he would take everywhere. If it wasn't for those weeks, I would like all idols the same. ANYWAY ANYWAY (sorry). I think you portrayed Callie a little better. I like the way you made it so that she has trouble concentrating in school and doesn't care about work that much. It seems very cannon, and relatable to when I was in school, though I never clicked a pen, I prefered to fidget with the lead in my mechanical pencils. Back on topic, I was kind of disappointed that Nintendo didn't have it so that Callie was scared and Marie had to comfort her after the events of Octo Canyon, similar to how Claus' family and friends have to comfort him after he's kidnaped and they save him. Though a tragic scene, it shows the love between Claus and his family, and, since both characters ended up in similar situations (no mother 3 spoilers), I really think Nintendo should've had a scene like that, but NOPE.

In terms of criticisms on your portrayal of the best idol, you did pretty good, but was she not a marshmello at some point? Unless you watch the videos of people trying to understand the lyrics to Bomb Rush Blush, I can't remember a time when Callie had any interest in romance. Pearl and Marina have each other, Marie has an obvious crush on a child (Marie is confirmed to be bisexual yay), but Callie was always more into art, singing, and other creative stuff like that, which leads me to my next point.

In Octo Canyon it states that Callie is very into arts and crafts and stuff. Her creativity and love for art is also hinted in the art vs. science Splatfest, and she chose love over money that one time. Despite Marie's teasing on air, she was rarely snarky back, but when she was, IT WAS AWESOME. "You and your gray hair are going down, granny!"

When you are a Splatoon fan, especially a fic writer, I'd highly recommend playing Mother 3, which covers the same topics as Splatoon 2, but just with much less humor.

Thanks a lot for listening to my "constructive criticism"! -Johto Jedi

I started reading this thinking it was irony, but I guess your serious...

Alright, great chapter as per usual! Now, tome for the unofficial highlights of the chapter, sponsored by the Global Occult Coalition, your favorite international group dedicated to putting anomalies through woodchippers!

1) “It’d cause a whole truckload if problems, including mass hysteria, riots, and I suspect, mass panic-buying of toilet paper.” Oh god, not the toilet paper!

2) ”YOU SERIOUSLY HAD TI GO OUT AND BUY A FUCKING TRANQUILIZER JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE JEALOUS THAT I WAS OUT WITH JOSH!?” Yep... cousins are weird. Thank god my brother likes Nerf guns and not tranquilizers...

3) ”No wonder you have a D in history...” “At least it’s not an F.” Callie, you better make it big as a performer, or else nobody’s gonna hire you.

Damn, this chapter was great. Can’t wait for the next one!

Fight For All Fiction,
Zygarde

This is a pretty funny story when you get the context but overall can be slightly interesting

uh okey

Good job! This story has a lot of potentials, and I think it's going to turn out great! But I do have a few suggestions:
1. Try to make the dialogue a little more straight forward. Sometimes I feel like the dialogue takes too long to get the point though, and sometimes it doesn't seem to fit with the scenario, most prominently when Mr. Inkblot mentions hair color in the auditions. Your hair color doesn't determine whether or not you get into a talent show; your performance does!

2. Although it isn't a bad thing to add extra scenes for comic relief or depth, I feel that sometimes those extra scenes aren't very well crafted. Like when Josh brings Marie to the alley to give her the champagne. I get that having Marie drunk helps set up the scene where Callie darts the two of them, but it really didn't flow well with the setting and mood the rest of the story gives.

Can’t believe it took me this long to actually read this first chapter.

*looks up at Callie tranquilizing her cousin and her date*

Favorite and follow from me.

Fight For All Fiction,
Zygarde