Please update soon I love this story

I thuroughly enjoyed this. cant wait for part 2...though i have 2 ask...will tea make ANY appearance. Even just in an outfit choice or something. Other than that. Great job. Also. Tobirama is a master of water ninjutsu...the human body is more than 70% water. Would tobirama be able to use than in battle...im curious. U could use the idea. Feel frre to or dont. Ur choice. Regardless i look forward to whenever part 2 comes.

Ok, let's get down to the meat of the matter.

Character development, there were times in the fic it was good and times it was bad. There were some scenes that looked out of place or didn't make much sense. What happened with kushina for example and reliving Naruto's memories. Why? Why bother with showing her things like that without further building on the concept? She vehemently denied she neglected her son after the fact with no hints as to why she rejects it, even though she obviously broke from the information. Where was the regret after the fact?

If Minato talked with Kushina and convinced her what she was seeing wasn't real then just make a scene centered around the subject unless there's something sinister going on. If something sinister really is going on behind the scene you need to drop a hint, either a few choice words spoken between the parties involved or a glimpse of the PHYSICAL problem. If she's just in denial then write a little something about how she acts that reflects her mental state. She'll be irrational, uncooperative in anything until she confronts the source of her problems. Don't just leave something like that unpolished.

Atem and Naruto, I can understand Atem moved on, but why? Why so soon? He had a lot to offer in terms of character development. Naruto only had a couple months with him, atem could have taught him multiple things other than swordsmenship, he could have taught the nature of politics, how to best invest money to achieve a goal you set for yourself, how to tell friend from foe, how to MANAGE A NATION? He was a Pharoah, a king that was believed to be a God by the ancient Egyptian people.

I just feel that pushing Atem to the side wasn't the best thing you could have done.

I can see the purpose of this "book" was to develop Naruto's character and help him build his resolve. But I don't think you focused enough on some of the other dynamic side characters like Joey, Jessie, Jaden and those of the duel monsters universe even though you gave them the cards to grow strong. It would have been much easier to explain in book 2 how these characters grew to the level of power they will come to sit at.

You focused TOO heavily on Naruto's development and not enough on everyone else who is likely going to become part of his group.

Allow me to move on to the battles held here. I feel they were very off, almost out of place. Some didn't make sense. Some made perfect sense. The battle with shukaku for example, you said Naruto didn't have a card strong enough to battle him. Blue eyes Ultimate dragon? Ya know? Naruto's trump card BEFORE he obtained obelisk? Why didn't he use them? YOU claimed that's how he ended the war in Kiri, by summoning blue eyes white dragon's ultimate form and beating Isobu, who had a defense capable of resisting lightning. But shukaku would have been turned to glass has blue eyes stepped onto the field. It just feels like you wanted to have Naruto show off instead of thinking strategically. That entire chapter could have been done better.

There's just as many things you've done right as you've done wrong here.

Naruto seems pretty set on protecting his friends and adopted family, so why didn't he just rip Kurama's chakra out of Arashi when he KNEW the brat couldn't be trusted with it? This also brings up the LARGEST plothole in character development.

Naruto left, LEFT, his friends and family back in the leaf village with his "IRRATIONAL" biological family without a single thought to the possibility they would try to screw him over while he's gone. They proved themselves shameless in every aspect of the word when it comes to getting their way. The Nidaime might be stronger than Minato, but Minato proved he's willing to pay any cost so long as it means getting his way.

You left them to their own devices without a hint of a reason for them to hold back. And the Namikaze knows where they live now like the back of their hand. What is stopping them from kidnapping the kids while Naruto is away and Tobirama is preoccupied with something else?

Is there even a reason Naruto is leaving? He could very easily stay in konoha and receive training from Hashirama and Mito if he wanted to. If he wanted to hide it wouldn't be hard. Naruto stayed hidden for years before he was found in a village with a limited size. Is it the God cards?

Theres miles stacked on MILES of forestry between Konoha and any other form of civilization. He could very easily get far enough away from the village to practice summoning the Egyptian gods without traveling the nation. Going on a long ass trip like this is actually the worse thing you could possibly do given the circumstances. No only is he being hunted down by someone stronger than him who can summon hoards of monsters at a time. He is also being hunted by Akatsuki, unknowingly, which is made up of S-class criminals. Naruto is still at the level where's he's vulnerable from being swarmed. He left the village ALONE with no thought to the enemy that is surely hunting him. You never even said where his opponent was sent to but it can't be to the shadow realm, so that leaves somewhere on earth.

I'm sitting here sighing because of how much needs cleaning up for this fic. It's unrefined, unpolished and somewhat deformed. But at least it has a sharp edge.

The concelt you introduced is more than decent, it's attention grabbing. The heart to heart moments could be felt, they weren't tear inducing, but i felt for them.

This is a duel monster's crossover. I think Naruto should have been capable of working WITH his companions more than he did. Especially Celtics guardian, Gaia the fierce knight and blue eyes white dragon. The duel monsters didn't make enough of an appearance throughout the fic, not their spirit, not the monster itself, just not enough.

You're gonna need a lot of work before this fic can be called excellent. I DID enjoy it though. All that I wrote up above is simply how I see it can be improved. It was fun to read but it wasn't the best work I've ever read. In terms of enjoyment, I give it a 6/10, in overall quality 3/10, concept potential 9/10.

Keep working hard and I know this fic can be one of the good ones.

Can we fast Forward to after 3 yrs ..next chapter plssss

impressive chapter.
So naruto managed to stand a little against bakura before he was forced to leave. At least despite naruto being always really weaker than him, Bakura has some respect for the level naruto reached at his young age.
Also glad naruto and tobirama cleaned most of konoha mess and started to revamp the village education system.

And touching and cute end with naruto departure and intersting gift with millenium stuff and egyptian god cards

can't wait next chapters

Excellent job with this chapter

was epic

Hmm, a nice chapter seems Naruto is ready to get stronger and not only has all the god cards but three Millenium pieces. I wonder how strong he'll get anyways keep up the great work!

love it.
I can't wait for part 2.

Great job, incredible, wonderful, spectacular, impressive, fabulous, wonderful. I can't wait to read the second part of the story

Beating Bakura will not be easy.

finally heads are fallen.
And bakura finally appeared.
Can't wait the battle.
Do you plan bakura stay always evil, or you will have naruto change his mind and turn to the light?

all i gotta say is i Love Dark Magician Girl!

the kushina from the start when she wanted her baby boy back to this one is a big change hard to believe she was realy such a monster I almost suspected she had a seal on her to make her act that way towards naruto

So Bakura has arrived great anyways keep up the great work!