this sounds really good! I cant wait for more!

The writing quality is good in terms of your spelling and grammar, but the following part of the Content Guidelines is broken for being a second person or you-based story:

Entries not allowed:
5. Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc.

Please remove all of the elements related to the reader like "Y/n" and replace them with any canon character or original character. Switch to first person or third person point of view. You can always put it on another site where it is allowed like Archive Of Our Own or deviantART.