His power is some sort of kinetic manipulation and instead of creating a sort of invisible hand guard to manipulate his unresponsive arm he chose to mess with bioelectricity?

Forget about running or walking, you went from crawling to riding a unicycle on a thick rope

This is ot a critic to yourself but i have to wonder if Minamoto Ken understands common sense

Also, Electro Masters do not need to worry about radiation, the Personal Reality deals with unwanted annoyance by making a field where what you believe will work and what you don't will not

Kind of a Reality Marble where certain laws of nature won't work

Your OC on the other hand does need to worry, most Espers get a more direct result, but he is doing a conversion of forces by messing with atoms, i am more worried that he would accidentally blow up the whole city

Pretty good story you have here, and it is quite refreshing to see new Raildex fics, as we have comparatively very little of them on this site, and even less decent ones. However, I do have a few things to say about the MC and his progression.

As you may already know, esper abilities are ranked based on how large their effect is on the world.

Level 1s are just powerful enough to bend a spoon with their power. Other than a very few select cases, it's generally just better to punch a person in the face rather than use one's esper ability in a fight at this level, as the ability is either too weak, too unstable, or just not useful outside of literally 1 or 2 situations. Mikoto at Level 1 was only able to make small, but noticable, sparks of electricity with her ability.

Level 2s are much more powerful than Level 1s, but they are still quite limited in scope. Think of them like tasers, it gives you a definite advantage in a fight, but outside of combat or when severely outnumbered, it's not gonna help you much. The Sisters are mostly at this level, and although they aren't that powerful ability wise, they can still screw you up with their 50000 volts of electricity they can generate. But when faced with larged numbers or a sufficiently powerful ability, they're about as useful as you and me in a fight against Superman.

Level 3 is where you start getting the attention of the administrators of Academy City, as you're now powerful enough to be able to safely use your ability in everyday life. In a fight, Level 3 Espers are as tactically significant as an assault rifle, as their ability allows them to even the odds against multiple opponents and give them the ability to shape the battlefield in small, but meaningful ways to their advantage. Level 3 telepaths are powerful enough to screw with a couple of people's perception enough to make them mess up in combat, and electromasters of the same level have greater amounts of control of electricity to the point of being able to remotely control electrical devices a small distance away.

Level 4 is when an esper really starts being watched for 2 main reasons, they are pretty damn wierd and have some kind of mental disorder, and they are powerful enough to change the course of a battle with their presence. Officially, espers are classed at Level 4 when their ability reaches the point where the feats they can perform with it surpass what technology can do outside of Academy City. Basically, when seen from the perspective of someone who didn't know about an Esper's powers, it would seem like magic. They are the tactical equivalent of an artillery battery, and when you see some of the Level 4s capabilities, it makes a good amount of sense. A Level 4 aerokinetic can launch a huge hunk of metal into the stratosphere, and an electromaster of the same level has an output of 200 million volts and is capable of doing knockoff railgun shots.

Level 5s are stated by the author to be capable of taking on whole armies alone, and win. The power gap between Level 4 and Level 5 is like the gap between Level 1 and Level 3, they are magnitudes better in terms of power, range, amd versatility than their Level 4 counterparts. They are also pretty hard to make, as most of them were the result of multi-million dollar experiments. A few of them wouldn't be Level 5s without the intervention of the scientists of Academy City, like in Misaki Shoukuhou's case.

How is your MC going to deal with the massive amounts of attention he'll receive from just about everyone in Academy City due to his very rapid advancement in his Esper ability? With how Minamoto is using his powers, I'd say that he's probably a mid Level 2 esper, and rapidly advancing, due to how he's able to use his ability in a variety of situations, but is still not able to safely use his power in everyday life due to control issues. But as soon as he can manipulate energy to ,say, boil a pot of water without melting the pot to slag, he'll be counted as a Level 3, as his power is now applicable to a variety of situations, but not to the extent that is beyond current technology. He'd be progressing at a pace that is basically unseen by anyone in Academy City, besides Mikoto, who became a Level 5 in a miniscule 3 years. To put it into comparison, it took Konori Mii several years to get to Level 3, but it seems like Minamoto will be getting there in a few months at most. I'm quite interested in the interactions between MC and the higher echelons of Academy City that he'll surely draw the attention of.

Another topic is the derailing of canon. That would mean interfering with Aliester's plans, and he absolutely does not like that. Minamoto would be facing some serious opposition if he started screwing with things like Level 6 Shift and SYSTEM, especially if he isn't at least a Level 4 in power.

Lastly, do you plan on Minamoto becoming a Level 6? If so, I'd put some emphasis on highlighting the changes in psyche he'd go through during his journey to ascension. As shown in Railgun T, pure effort isn't enough to survive becoming a Level 6. You have to be literally clinically insane to survive the power, as your very belief that you are equal to God is the only thing holding you together. That's why Accelerator is the only one stated in the novel to be able to become a Level 6 in the novel, due to him being an egotistical potato.

Overall, I think this story has massive potential, and I can't wait to see what it becomes! Thanks for the chapter!

Huh... Radiation poisoning was an unexpected outcome. I thought maybe u would give an explanation for that in this chapter, but oh well. The interactions were interesting, but my question is Shouldn't Koroko be already Misaka's roommate as the Sister's arc is already beginning?

More

Good Job

Comparing to the timeline when is this?

With this kinetic energy he can make stuff explode though I'm not too sure if he can delay it so it won't blow off in his face. He can also use anything as a projectile as a weapon with the increase of kinetic energy, hell he can even make plastic toy weapons become deadly. He can become his own generator of energy to charge whatever electric devices and never pay for his electric bill.

I really really really like your character's thinking. And I like the idea of not wanting to mess with the canon, yet getting caught in. I hope the next chapter will be out soon!
With regards one of your readers!

Really enjoying this story so far, i hope the next chapter doesnt take too long! Im really interested in how you plan to change the timeline, i find that too many fanfictions just run through the time line with minor changes, mostly to dialogue, even ones that make major changes. I hope that yours does a good job of realistically changing the story to make it new and exciting, yet still railgun/index. I know that that can be very hard to do so i wish you luck. Im also curious, in the first chapter i believe he mentioned that there were 23(?) Novels, has he read all of those? But not read new testament? Im just curious as to his level of knowledge

Uh oh did he already receive some permanent damaged or can the frog faced doctor can fix him up like nothing happened

Yaaay! I love this story and can't wait for more of it although I still don't understand how he didn't realise it was bloody Accelerator in the last chapter, also wondering if Misaka is going to keep an eye on the SI after all the entire sister project started up because she gave her DNA to help people with nerve damage. As for the radiation? No idea hadn't even realised they were doing that or it was possible to do it subconsciously thought they would have to actively try for that, as for electric burns maybe? It all comes down to if people are naturally hardier in Toaru compared to real life and just how advanced medicine has become the side effect of advancement is older things being cheaper so electric burns could be easier to deal with and Misaka has a lot of control so a third option could be she instinctually knows the threshold like how I have shocked myself on a faulty PowerPoint and a good chunk of my body went tingly, numb and unresponsive for less than an hour but more than a few minutes but I never got electrical burns on my hand because it didn't breach a certain amount and my shoes had rubber. There could be any number of explanations so it's up to you to choose the most logical to you.

Zentari2238 Well, its only 5 chapters in the making, dont want it to be rushed right?

Uh, is there a point to this? The MC is kind of a cardboard, and the plot moves at a snail's pace while focusing on 'grinding'.

Nice chapter.' Thumbs Up' people usually(make it almost never) don't make creative storytelling in a setting which I think has pretty good world-building.

Great story! There are only so few OC Toaru stories on FFN (that are alive), and this is by far the best.

just curious, and I know I might not get an answer back. My understanding of his Esper ability is limited, but I am assuming it is energy (as in straight-up energy, not specific) manipulation. jf so, can he take energy from objects, thus making them cold?
I honestly dont know if this would work or not, so I suppose I would just have to wait til future chapters to see if he does it haha.