Hello ElswordDesigner, thank you for your valuable feedback. :p

I used underscore to denote dialogues, and quotation marks to denote the thoughts inside the minds of people. As you can see, they're not the same thing, so I used different methods to distinguish them from each other.

The detail you said about cannons couldn't glow when overheated was strange, as I have read some accounts regarding cannons glowing before writing this story. Especially if the cannons were made by materials such as bronze for example, which had a lower melting point temperature than iron so if being fired repeatedly in a succession could make the barrels overheating and glowing.

The idea of writing the names of deceased villagers mainly serving the purposes of appeasing the soul of those victims, as I had also stated in the story. Moreover, the guns here couldn't be compared to modern artillery pieces, they shot (round) cannonballs, not shells, so there were chances that the cannonballs being shot wouldn't shatter upon impact, hence you could still see what was written on them.

I used those names because those OCs having more detailed information, which you could read in here: u/10972399/Tyrannicide

Those OCs were used many times in my other fanfics, so they were not supposed to be one-off characters at all.

Owen came up with that retort because he actually didn't care about whether those surrounding enemies or even villagers being dead or alive, so that thought hadn't never crossed his mind even once. Only Raven blaming himself about that because he had a conscience, and to be fair no way could he predict that the raid of the village would happen.

The thing is, the enemies were occupying a base with multi-story buildings, each story had its own ceiling, so that was why I used the plural form of ceiling. Regarding your suggestion of replacing "punched through" with "filled with giant holes", I actually had considered using that when writing the story, but because I found it would be repetitive when kept using the phrase of "walls littered with holes" so that was why I used "punched through". It was not the best but at the time I couldn't find replacement for it.

This is the first of your fanfictions that I've read, and there's a bit of feedback I'd like to give. Why is dialogue shown with underscores _ instead of quotation marks "" but Raven's monologue after the interrogation with a prisoner was in quotation marks? It's very awkward and punctually incorrect. Cannons don't glow from overheating. Hand-held gun barrels do, but the thick metal from cannons should prevent that kind of glow from happening. Writing the names of deceased villagers on cannon balls is a nice thought, but it's not like the enemies will see the names since they'll be spinning too fast in the air for anyone to read or be covered in debris after impact for anyone to read them. I'm also very confused as to why you've chosen a very complex name for the OC character, Yves de Croix-Rivière. Speaking of OCs, they're supposed to be important to the plot, but you could easily have replaced all the OCs with generic people descriptions instead of giving names for them and nothing would change in this chapter. Owen's final retort about the enemy soldiers dying even though they surrendered felt really weak for a retort because it's pretty obvious that Raven sees them as the bad guys who deserve to be killed. A stronger retort would've been if Owen overheard the interrogation and tried pinning the blame of the villagers dying on Raven's bad decisions instead of Raven just thinking about it by himself. There were a few odd phrases here and there, such as "One-third of the ceilings have already collapsed, walls were punched through..." and "Apologize me, did you hurt?" I think you meant to say, "One-third of the roofs have already collapsed, walls filled with giant holes..." and "I'm sorry, are you hurt?" You wouldn't say "ceilings" because a ceiling can collapse while the roof is still up, or are you saying the cannon balls managed to hit up into the ceilings but not hit the roofs? "Walls were punched through..." is like saying the walls had holes the size of fists instead of holes as big as cannon balls or bigger. You've got an interesting premise for this story, though, so I'm looking forward to any interactions involving Raven, Owen, and Seris.

Thank you very much for your valuable feedback, I appreciate it very much. :D

I can recall that GirgeFE/Jetstream Girge used to comment upon a different fanfic of mine on the forums, something about awkward sentences just like you, and I thought I have improved upon that ever since. :(

I have a weak spot for every fic that explores the lore of Raven, who should be, in my opinion, the most relevant character of the game's plot in Lurensia. I liked the way you show glimpses of Raven's life before his adventures with the El Search party, not only in this one-shot, but all across your works. That said, there are always things that you could improve on. I understood the flow of the story, but sometimes the breaks in dialogue and some minor awkward sentences made me a bit less immersed in the story. Still, this was a pleasant read.