please write more

A very nice and interesting idea. I look forward to more.

Grammatically however whenever a new person speaks they need to be a new line. Dont habe two or three people talking within the same paragraph.

To my knowledge this story is the first that tackles the whole ships remembering and mourning their sailors thing. I really like that, this story is shaping up to be pretty unique, keep it up.

It's amazing

My biggest piece of advice would be Proofreading, and regularly checking your pace. Not that last one is incredibly subjective, as it may very well be me just reading to fast. But it could also be on you.

Either way, i enjoy this. Also nice Cover pic.

A few too many "this is impossible!"s , feels like a villain from yugioh or something.
But yeah, really interesting so far. poor Juneau and the Sullivan brothers.

I haven't logged in FFN for a long time, but I decided to do so to say something.

I definitely like the premise and it has great potential. Soldiers meeting the shipgirls they serve is good fuel for drama, romance, and all the inbetweens. I really wanted to like this story, but it is held back greatly by having too many people talk in the same paragraph. It makes dialogue very confusing and hard to keep track of who's saying what.

My advice to you is to hit the enter key when someone else begins to talk in the paragraph. That way, you do not have 2 people talking in the same paragraph and prevent confusion/clustering of dialogue when multiple people are talking.

Just a bit of spacing/format critique will help in making this story a lot more pleasing and readable to the eye.

Nice chapter!

WHERES THE SECOND PART!

please update! Agh, the suspense is KILLING ME!

imma just wait

please continue

Look forward to seeing this story continue!

please update

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