I kinda agree with SomberFlight I didn't really care that Jaune was a bit of a coward, the fact he said he was gonna pee was taking things a bit to far.

I thought Crocea Mors belonged to his great grandfather or something, why is it his mothers in this.
I also find it funny how she says they want Jaune happy and free, when they are trying to control his life and telling him what to do and how to live, how is that supposed to be considered free.

Also why the hell is she only unlocking his Aura now, at the last moment, and this line "I would've wanted you to have proper training before." Then why didn't you give it to him then.

I like Blake's confusion at a literal white knight coming out of left field to save her life.

- Beta
Know there's a system for it, even if I'm unfamiliar with the exact derails on the hows on FFN.

Still, one person that does come to mind is "Alix33" who IIRC used to beta and cowrite with the late "Bobmin356".

Just don't know if she's into RWBY or not. Usually see her active in the HP fandom.

But one can always ask politely, if she'd be interested or not. To roughly (due to translating) quote my own dearly departed mother. "If you don't ask, then the answer will always be no anyway. But by asking you create the possibility of getting a yes instead." *Gives a certain redheaded Amazon a meaningful nod*

Alix33 is South African and either is or was involved with the news printing business.. Copy Editor, if memory serves.

*shrugs*

- Faunus
Just as an aside, it's both a singular and plural. So Fauni isn't the correct pluralization.

- Bravery
Not a lot of folks are aware of the distinction, but bravery and courage, while related have different meanings.

Someone who is brave, doesn't get the meaning of the word fear.

Whereas someone who is courageous does feel fear, but rises above it.

Harry Potter is a good example of someone who is brave, whereas Neville Longbottom is courageous.

In RWBY, Ruby would be the brave one, whereas Jaune eventually becomes courageous.

.
- Training and beyond
Yeah, I see Blake becoming a training partner of his well before Pyrrha ever offered in canon.

By that same token, I'm kinda expecting Blake to seek Jaune out for partnering during Initiation.

She already knows him and if you're going to be stuck with someone for 4y than it's more convenient if you already get along. *gives White Rose a sidelong glance*

- SomberFlight
Blake is 17 at this point.
Adam is early (at best) to mid 20s (at worst). So he'd still fall within the roughly acceptable dating range.

Especially if their relationship didn't turn romantic till she was 16. Keep in mind that Age of Consent Laws differ, even in the US of A. From 16 to 18 usually. And that's not taking into account what it may be in the varying Kingdoms or Menagerie.

*shrugs*

Heyy, that's pretty good!

This chapter was fun and a bit sweet. Good job

Ok now this chapter was just cute on so many levels... I want more of it in the future... Just so fucking cute I just can't get enough of it! Yeah I love this story with every fiber of my being. Keep it up you do amazing!

Oh yeah, this reads A LOT smoother once you corrected yourself on your dialogue issue. There's some weird sentences structuring and dialogue choices here and there, but you're improving so that's all that matters. As far as story progression goes, I feel like Jaune and Blake rushed into becoming friends a little to fast for my liking, but that may simply be how I'm reading it from my perspective.

My only other critique is to cut down on using, "Said" so often. You're fairly good about using descriptive words when someone is talking, but you still have a tendency to use it when you could use something better. Like, for example:

"I never knew I was a poet," Jaune said.

Instead of that, use this instead:

"I never knew I was a poet," Jaune quipped, a smirk breaking out on his face.

just little things like that will make the story feel more lively and less redundant. You're doing a great job though, and if you ever need more feedback don't be afraid to message me for some more advice.

It would've been nice if Jaune was less of a coward, but he at least did overcome it to help Blake, so that's a plus. I can't really criticize any of the combat choreography in this chapter, since it doesn't exist, but I'm pleased to hear that you're listening to my advice. Maybe adding a combat scene in the next chapter wouldn't be bad? Showing Jaune training against Grimm, with Blake somewhat helping him, would at least assure that he's able to kill some Grimm before initiation.

Blake talking about her secrets to her saviour, especially after a high adrenaline situation like almost getting killed, does make sense, and using it to start their friendship was a good idea. Though I hope the romance part won't just drag on and on with only a simple kiss at the end of the story. I'm not sure about Adam's age in this story, but canonically he's much older than Blake and their relationship is much creepier because of it. It would've been a bit more tasteful to make their relationship that of a teacher and student like it was intended at the start of the show, that way Adam could be just trying to kill Blake because she's trying to desert their cause, since I doubt he'd be so willingly to kill the woman he's in love with otherwise. Did Jaune really not notice Adam's horns? They're right at the top of his head, it's impossible to miss them.

Thx for the chappie

If you need a Bata reader, I’d recommend looking through those who have ether liked or favourited you story and see if any of them have a Bata profile. Look through those that do and I’m sure that one of them will probably fit the criteria you want in a Bata reader.
Sure you’ll need to message them and sort out any fine details of what you require, but I have faith that someone will come through for you.
Good luck hunting.

By the way, good show this chapter.

this is just wholesome as hell and i love it, you make a great interaction between them

Jaune falling ass backwards into glory now that’s a fun read.

- Overall assessment
An interesting premise, as a Jaune with his aura unlocked and already friends with Blake is less likely to end up as Pyrrha's partner and possible crush. (As Blake would be more likely to try and partner up with him, as a known and reliable factor. The fact that he tanks, while she DPS'es would be a synergistic bonus from her perspective.)

So that's another station of canon avoided. (Although, you'd definitely not hear me complaining if you turned it into a Darkos triad, as those three purely on a personality basis have a great deal of synergy and offsetting/compensating for each others flaws.)

However, I do advise you to find yourself a Beta, as it appears that you're not a native speaker of it and it rather shows in the number of grammatical errors in two fairly short chapters..

Some authors like to claim that they're just doing it for fun and thus don't care about their mistakes. The thing they're forgetting though is, that if a writer clearly doesn't care about their own story, than why should their readership?

So some spit and polish is needed.

Beyond that, it'll be interesting how you further spin this.

As the sheer number of butterflies you've created with this scenario is considerable.

Keep it up! I’m liking this story so far!