I would suggest having smaller paragraphs, but that's just me.

Eagerly waiting for more~

Great start! I'm a fan of The Men From Onyx, and am happy to the author helping you out. You're in good hands.

You've got a great start to what I can assume is going to be a legendary story. Great that kpmh2001 is helping you out. I love Men of Onyx, and I'm sure I'm going to love this!

So, looking at this from purely a writing stand point, it's pretty decent. Something that I would suggest editing is the run on paragraphs you have throughout this. Doing so would make this a lot more visually appealing and easier to read.

Aside from that, there's some... Oddities I can't help but point out from a Halo Canon standpoint. Oliver and Wagner are Alpha Company Spartans, meaning (Chronologically) they are likely around ~28-30 years old at least. Alpha Company began training in 2531 and graduated in 2536, before being destroyed in 2537 in Operation: Prometheus. Of course, there were survivors like Carter, Jun, and Emile, so I'm not arguing against them being Cat-II Spartan-IIIs or Headhunters, but age wise, it could raise some issues with what you're might try to do in RWBY.

Now, of course, Cryo Sleep is a thing within Halo since Slipspace is not instantaneous, meaning most UNSC Personnel are actually physically younger than they are chronologically speaking. The issue I see here though is that they'd never really stay in Cryo Sleep for extended (as in years) periods of time, so they'd be at best in their mid 20s physically.

So... yeah, that could cause some potential issues with what you do story wise.

For some further reference within Canon, Noble Six was likely around 17-19 when he was killed on Reach. Kat, who was 22, was an outlier like Carter was, in that they were older when they were recruited and augmented. Carter was 16 when he was augmented, and Kat would've likely been around 15 when she was augmented, making them some of the oldest Spartans to be Augmented aside from the Spartan-IV Program.