I agree with everyone please for the love of god fix the grammar in this other than that AWESOME

Good shit, might need an editor though. Keep up the good work.

I appreciate that English is not your best language. That's fine.

But if you know that it wont read good due to bad grammar why not just get a beta reader? I would even be happy to volunteer to help you.

I love this story.

I can help you with the english

I normally don't care for grammar since I myself suck at it but.

As interesting this story is the grammar is horrible. I can't even get past chapter one without shouting the mistakes in my head. And it hurting my head.

i really dont wanna hate but the grammar is really bad

Awsome!

I think this is a very promising start. I believe you will do great. Good luck

Grammar still needs work but is good start.

I truly don't mind the grammar. The Lynn conflict is a nice touch. Luan was expected. Leni... I couldn't tell what her resolution was at the end.
I expect both Luna and Lori to have conflict as both are dating. As for Lucy it will turn out just like Luan ,I think.

Story is a 8/10 with the grammar making it a 7. It's a nice idea and your English will improve. Could use "Grammerly".

Hello there! Quick advise, if english isn’t your first language, try writing in your language and ask someone to help you translating it.