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So how is it that everyone are talking about Varys's plots and machinations? His whole character is based around gliding below the radar, befriending everyone and seeming inoffensive and harmless. If the knowledge of him being a schemer and player of "the game" was out there, he would not in any way be able to hold a job as the Master of Whispers. It just feels inane.

I'm a little confused as to the reason why Harry arrived in Westeros the way he did. What purpose did it serve, if you were not going to deal with the consequences? He was taken prisoner and tortured to a certain extent by her brother and nephew, yet it was just written off by a snotty comment and harsh look? Why even write it then? It feels like you have a tendency to write scenes without substance to the story. Each scene should ideally mold the story in a different direction going forward; each scene should /matter/ in the whole. Right now, whether Harry landed directly in the Water Gardens or like he did in your story would seemingly not make any difference, other than an awkward scene of your main character being abused for no reason and not fighting back. Consequences and purpose.

I dunno. I feel like I understand what you're going for here, but having them be at odds over it for a whole /year/, and then have the portraits finally deign to speak with him and solve it in a 5 minute conversation just feels off. It's a little like you wanted some drama, so you added it, without it really contributing to the story or feeling necessary.

Small thing: Oberyn had Obara in 271 and Nymeria around 274, while the rebellion didn't end until 283. So he definitely had kids long before Elia disappeared.

fabulous story!

You know, one really good way to turn public opinion for magic, would for it to become public knowledge that Aerys had laid plans to destroy kings landing with wildfire, and harry used his magic to singlehandedly neutralize the wildfire (I am guessing with the Hallows). If that were made public, the kings landing population at least would be singing his praise, even the Faith would not dare speak out publicly against harry's magic at that point without risking the public turning against them instead.

The story has a really nice feel to it. Your character interactions are great.

I'm a little confused about the review by Guest on Feb 24. Is it just a copy paste they go around throwing at every story related to ASOIAF so they can feel important for a few seconds? It doesn't even relate to this story at all, nor mentions it even once. Some people are truly just utterly clueless about how to behave.

... seriously? 2 interludes in a row? That goes against the whole purpose of an interlude

you make appallingly little use of legilimency

take a coupel chest apply space expansion charms fill them with soldiers have one of the elves place them in key positions around kings landing with an aviodance ward and take the city in the night. then you can fight the armies from behind a nice big wall.

introducing magic but not having the creativity to use it. bah!

i never understood how the little birds of varys work. sure childeren are good spies, but how do they get their message to varys? by raven, the ones that are controlled by the maesters of the castles? on foot or by horse?
there is simply no way i can see this being a fast working network and every story, like yours, seem to treat it as such

i wished you focused on something else but all this drama. some world building with magic, exploring valayria, exploring the true north for the childeren.
no instead it is all this... well i cant quite call it angst but it is close

first step; steal the lannister gold, second step retrieve any hostages.

honestly how difficult is it winning a war when one side has magic and the other swords

i dont understand why harry doesnt just kill the unspeakebles. they did nothing in the first or second war and now they target him and eventually his family aswell.
no better go to westeros and kill 1000s there