I like your story. Thank you

Dumbledore really! ah I hate when its dumbls willingly keeps returning Harry to a place he is hated. Use of the trust money ... ahhh. Just no.
Great story so far, really loving it.

I hope Dumbledore doesn't get away with stealing Harry's inheritance. This is confusing but good. Looking forward to reading more of this story.

Great beginning!

Your Dumbledore in this story doesn’t seem just dillusional but truly evil! I can’t wait to see how you develop the story and his character.

Captain,
This really seems to on a par with your previous writings. I like the dual point of view and Harry’s writing almost as an outsider. I didn’t read this when it first came out because I wanted to be able to read more than one chapter. On to chapter 2.

Nicely done Cap' n.. look forward to more!

And now that I've read your author bio; I find myself even more disappointed. Such an experienced soldier, whom presumably at least made it to lower rungs of command authority, and you still can't put in the effort to write like you finished High School? I mean... I've heard that the military uses short hand often in their forms and reports... but this level of grammatic degradation is... well frightening really.

In this case not so much as to how badly you write, rather what this means for the textual grammatica generation whom use short hand at least as much as the army, if not moreso. And if the degeneration of your grasp of the English language is this great, and I'd assume that your degradation is average... well, it doesn't bode well for future generations of writers whom think txt'ing is an actual language.

And you're failing. Badly. Choose a POV, stick to it. Also, clear up the inconsistencies. If Harry "died" before he went to Hogwarts then he never learned about his fame. The fame the occurred after his parents died. Nearly two years hence from the opening entry.

Honestly... how the F hard is it to look at a da mn calendar, or keep track of years? And don't say you're dyslexic, that's letters and it's specifically spacial orientation of letters. And don't even try OCD, because you wouldn't be making these simple mistakes, especially as these are mistakes that a da mn proof read would catch.

What, are seriously suggesting that you're nearing eighty and that you never went to school? Well, the school part is obviously false, you're typing aren't you? Don't know how to read? Then how are you writing fan fiction about a written literary work?

Look I get it, you're 'Murican. You're so da mn full of sh it, you couldn't care less that you don't know how to write, or keep numbers. And that's the problem. Grammar, and the ability to clearly communicate is not exempt from anyone; no matter their inbred, drunken, rural edumacation, nationality. (Yes, I just indication that the "South" is still part of the whole that is the United States. No, I assure it is not lies, yes, I am sure. Ask your state representative.)

Don't like the insinuation? Make an effort to show you're not a high school drop out. Prove me wrong.

very twisty. look forward to more.

Well this is off to a rocking start. Can not wait to see how this proceeds.

Great chapter! Looking to be a wonderful story! Looking forward to reading more! Thank you for sharing!

Thank you!

Goodluck on this try and I hope its as intriguing and action-packed as before.

dennisud

Glad to see your stories again. I really like your writing.