HOLDUP ARENT YOU THE PERSON THAT USED TO HAVE THE COOL FIC ABOUT TOBY BEING A SNAKE? PERSON? THING? AND HE KEPT IT SECRET FROM TTHE OTHERS AND IT WAS A SPECIAL THING THAT PASSED GENERATIONS AND MY FRIEND WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT I CANT FIND IT IN THE GORMITI ARCHIVE ANYWHERE
im sorry to yell about another fic, but this one is cool i swear im just surprised

don't give up and keep striving for improvement,, this story has potential!

Hi there! This is a very big improvement from your last gormiti fanfiction! it has better flow, character setting and environment setting and in general the structure has improved! you still have room for improvement but now it generally gives off a better vibe! try using words for suspense as well, use them morenin your descriptions and (like watertry to follow a flow! If you want there is also a gormiti fandom on DA and and Amimo where you can post your stuff and get more constructive criticism from others and more experiences (at least compared to me) writters!