Honestly had all of the same problems as Ch. 12 complete with making it clear that one oc is so overpowered that he'll probably take over the plot.

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR CH 12
Just some thoughts on the story, its off to a decent start, but I did have a few issues.

Okay so that story was a bit rougher than the previous chapter. You may want to keep an eye out for your characters making bad decisions only because it helps the plot. It was a little hard to swallow that Lapis baically just told your character to trash beach city in chapter one, it wasnt to noticable, but the idea that Garnet, a gem that can see most possible futures, put him in a position where he could run away was a little much.

That said the story is making progress, and I understand that for the sake of the story some fudging of the gems powers may be necessary. Additionally, and maybe I'm just confused here, but whats the deal with hime suddenly having a mouth, but then that might just be something to be answered in the future.

Grammatically I also would steer clear of all caps and other such tricks. I got what you meant by it but it really hurts it's overall quality. There were also a few autocorrect errors that were really noticable when greg speaks.

Anyway those were my thoughts. I look forward to your next chapter.

Well that was certainly one of the more novel fanfictions I've read. Look forward to seeing where you take the story!