The emotional effects of Jerome being in a place he feels is safe, yet everything is just that much off kilter because of the changes is well done here. All these strangers feel it's their place now, and having someone arrive who has a prior association with both the camp and Ben has got to make a lot of folks feel uneasy. They aren't a cohesive group yet, so prone to jealousy and upheaval more than if everyone there were all former employees like Ben and Jerome.

I particularly like the further information showing that Ben and Jerome were friends, and that Rachel didn't just blithely accept Jerome leaving even as much as she likes Kate. I think it would be a lot easier to be selfish in ways no one would before the apocalypse.

Man, Peggy just bugs me, but she's so realistic that a camp would have someone like her that it makes me laugh.

It's also good seeing that the guys are making beginner mistakes. With neither of them having a military background (or law enforcement, etc) and limited interaction with the walkers, it makes so much sense that they might be careless compared to what they would end up being with more experience.

This a solid chapter with some transitional feel, but that's to be expected after the excitement of all the introductions of the earlier chapters. Now the characters are settling in, and some of the quieter ones will have time to shine.

I think my two favorite moments are Rachel being determined to learn to shoot the biters (even if she didn't know to be quiet), and Keisha counseling Courtney not to be her grandmother's complete opposite in considering the reality of their situation and missing people. Both fit so well in the emotional obstacles people would face.

I like how you captured the sheer, helpless desperation of a civilian trying to keep his family safe after the trusted authorities turned on them. The fact that Jerome experiences such trial and error makes him interesting as a character.

Kudos for them not loading all the guns and ammo section up *and* noting how heavy guns and ammo really are with his shoulders going numb later on. One of the things that makes me laugh watching the show is Rick blithely carrying that gun bag around like it's plastic kid toys. Everyone picks it up and runs around like that, too.

I was really rooting for them to find the camping section and all the freeze dried food, dang it. Emma would have had a lot of fun rehydrating those and watching them change back to recognizable food.

Having one of the siblings be paranoid is logical, and yay, it's not the male like many scenarios.

Good chapter overall!

This is a really good introduction for each character who is featured. There's just enough detail to make a reader curious to learn more, even in the shorter bit with the Guardsmen.

I'm such a geek for accuracy with military that I liked that yours didn't immediately make me flinch like most TWD military fanfic does. Too many writers use military experience to explain superhero level abilities, especially for female characters.

I especially like Ben's dislike of being in charge when he wants to focus on his wife. My favorite type of leader is the type who is capable but not enthralled with their status. It's actually one of my objections to Rick as leader, because the show does NOT do that as well as you have.

The fact that not everyone is enamored of Ben is also a realistic point of view. He's not a cult leader, so he's relatable.

And poor Courtney! I want to shake her grandma til her teeth rattle right out of her head. That's a good hook, when I want to defend a character from another's good characterization.

Glad you are going to continue writing. Love your style, storyline and character development.

Easily the best zombie apocalypse story I have read in a long time.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Enjoying your story. Thank you for sharing.

Very well done. I’m impressed by your story because so far it does not involve people with super survival skills. It is just your average person. Kate’s story is very poignant, though brief, the regular world is difficult enough to navigate. Also, a huge kudos to mentioning schizophrenia. Few people realize many schizophrenics can live fulfilling lives.
Lots of love to all the fan fic authors that have me looking up poems, songs, etc. Thanks for the Frye poem.

I like this story line. Interesting take on how I believe people are going to react during the fall of civilization. Especially the dynamic between Jerome and Rachel. She gets it. And I am waiting for when Courtney says enough and demands to be treated like an adult. As always most people won't live past 3 months. Look forward to the next chapter.

Yet another triumphant chapter. I enjoyed everyone's part in this. Courtney has still managed to be one of my faves and I somewhat seeing her become a definitive survivor as time goes on, but for the most part, I have to try not to get too attached because anyone could be gone in a second. I've never been more worried for Jerome than I am now? Idk, just seeing what he's been dealing with in past chapters makes me wonder how things will play out with the others in the camp. Ben's been in a tough spot but at least his head is in the right place.

It is interesting how , after the initial shock and the adrenaline wears off, how much change a person undergoes. the apocalypse is extreme, are their reactions extreme as well? Is grief, fear, heightened and overwhelming and maybe bordering on frantic? I hope my weird music vs are understandable

Interesting question from Lauren - Where have the supplies gone?

hope you update soon! loving the tension between ben & clarence.

I enjoyed this chapter. I feel like there was a lot more added because I feel like, at this point, i wouldve known what was going to happen, but that's the best part-the fact that it's still like reading a fresh story I've never read before. Jerome really does seem to be going through a lot emotionally and I feel pretty bad for the guy. You're extremely good at expressing that through your writing. You're so good and I feel like that's an understatement. Also, I never left a proper review on the last chapter. Regarding the A/N-don't be so hard on yourself. Five was definitely one of my favorite chapters by far. I've mentioned it before that I've always enjoyed the character dynamics. You always compliment how vivid my writing is but there's just so much I admire about the way you write yours. You're not lazy with your writing and it really shows. I really love how polished they are and the best part is your writing is extremely motivating. I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to this chapter also. Shouldn't have been surprised by how great it is. Really looking forward to the rest. I wanna see what happens to Samantha.