So, I really don’t know what kind of “flames” the writer got. Critiquing said writer on things such as the fact Shikamaru was the only one to rank up or the fact the writer is just handing Hinata a bunch of power ups in just the first 10k of story isn’t a flame. It’s actually a major plot issue. I mean, I can say I like her getting power ups, but I want to see her work for them. Also, this was supposed to be a romance? I’m guessing with Naruto? That romance element seems to have become majorly lost. Just saying.

Face palms.

Did the writer give Hinata more power ups in this chapter?

Yes, yes they did.

Mind you, it’s not that she’s getting these abilities that is the issue, but that the writer is just handing them to her.

Okay. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to come out and say it. The writer turned Hinata into a Mary Sue. I mean, to quote her own instructor, “I want you to tell me why you, of all people, have a scroll that dates from before the first Hokage – or if it isn’t that old, where you found someone who knows enough to write a scroll in this script.”

Let’s go back to what I said in the previous review – convenient.

It would make far more sense that she would have someone introduce her to It rather than her miraculously finding it. I mean, imagine Naruto finding the scroll for the toads rather than pervy sage introducing it to him. It wouldn’t be well accepted, right? That would be because how he’d gotten ahold of the scroll needs to be explained, and no, some random creature appearing doesn’t count. The plot is shaping Hinata’s actions rather than her actions shaping the plot.

And no, Mary Sues aren’t strong characters, something I’ve got to bring up because that was emphasized in the summary. Mary Sues – they skip out on the journey to becoming a strong character by just handing things to the characters.

So, I know a lot of the readers were excited that Hinata ended up getting her own summoning beast, yet the way she gets the scroll, I’m sorry to say just isn’t realistic. Specifically, it’s way to convenient, not to mention the writer missed out on a really good opportunity to bring in a mentor for Hinata, or focus first on her already existing mentor who would then introduce her to said mole. Yeah, it’s in character for her to help the creature, but getting the scroll that easy? Nope.

So, I decided to take a look at the rant added onto chapter five first. Regardless of whether I seek to disprove the theory, let alone critique the work for what works and what doesn’t, I agree with the writer’s stance. However, as one of the anonymous readers pointed out having gone through the reviews, “I didn’t find one flame or rant”. If it has to do with only Shikamaru becoming chunin at that point – that’s canon fact. Was it an anonymous review? Well, the problem with that is we often see writers claim they’ve been flamed when they really weren’t.

Anyways, onto the story.

This is just me, but I felt like the first chapter was a major info dump regarding stuff we already know in fandom with things like her father not liking her making medicine getting lost within the narrative. I get that this is a story about Hinata growing stronger, but if this is what we’ve gotten for the first chapter, could the writer have possibly have gotten the plot done in fewer words and actually have completed the story? That was my default reaction.

seems awesome
first hinata centric i read
hope you continue

I love your writing, and I love this fic. It's wonderful to read a Hinata-centric fic about her development, I hope it will continue to be mostly about her development as a person and a ninja . Ehehe, well, I guess I do have a weakness for fics that have someone grow stronger through exploiting a part of the ninja way. And I'm so psyched to find out about her new jutsu! Go Hinata!

I don't see why people would flame such an awesome fic. Waiting for the next chapter with much anticipation! D Thank you, keep up the great work!

This a real creative, interesting, in-character portrayal of Hinata and her growth! I can't wait to read what happens next!

Wow! This is awesome! Im really anxious to learn whats up with the mole

update please!

I like this story and if anyone criticises it they"re crazy this is nicely written and I can't wait for the next chapters.

I Adore The Fanfic! It's abosulutely wonderful! Perfecto! Please, Continue!

man...i was gonna guess that it was a mole summoning contract.

woot... love the story, but wonder if you'll ever finish it... i'll be uber happy if you do

as for the flame thingy, i totally agree with everything you said... i hate it when people get all bent out of shape thinking they know everything when they clearly don't (especially about how the plot line is gonna go)... and i say everyone is entitled to their own opinions as to how things work (if they have a problem with yours then the can just go shove it)

well, 'til next time (whenever it may come)

hugs & kisses

Miss Sky

sounds like it's gonna be good, please continue this fic, i really like it since hinata is my favorite naruto girl. and i know it's not likely but i really hope you'll put her with gaara (love that pairing can't help it)