So, this story is categorized as adventure/humor, but I'm not seeing much humor, more a shitload of angst, and what's up with making Lullaby a decent threat when he was a scrub in canon ?

Really wanna see natsu in dragon force with fully realized demon heritage this early in the series

Thanks! Love it!

The chapter are getting better and better, especially now that we see the story pulling further from cannon, it look great. Keep up the great story!

so that is the problem? tartaros wanted their lord END back?

Hope to see you update soon. And hope to see Gray reconcile with Natsu. Also hope to see Zeref and other Dragon Slayers soon.

I'm not really a fan of how Gray is being portrayed. From what I can infer, he doesn't like Natsu because either he knows he's a demon and irrationally hates him because of Deliora, or he was scared when Natsu lost control. Either way, he comes off as just as big a douche as Laxus prior to the Tenrou arc. If that's what you were going for, then I guess you did an okay job. If not, I think you've made a rather large misstep.

I'll tell you the problem real quick. This is too angsty. The way you've handled Natsu's situation in particular is very offputting. The fact that he's basically being discriminated against is far from appealing. That's just not how Makarov is, I don't care how much of a loose cannon someone is. Take Elfman for example. He killed his sister (as far as they knew) in cannon after losing control of his magic. Yet there were no restrictions placed on him. So why would Natsu be any different?

Another issue I think people might have is the fact you have Gray as an S-Class mage, yet from what we can tell Natsu is barred from gaining the rank.

Overall, it just creates this angsty feel that isn't pleasant. Fairy Tail is about adventure and fun, but the main character is basically treated like a criminal on parol by his supposed "family". It undercuts the theme and the supposed friendly nature of both the series and the guild.

Cool! Thank you!

Hello there , i will start by saying that your story is great i had fun reading it and i believe this is one of the best written fairy tail stories that i did read so far considering that all this fandom has to offer is shitty romance stories im pretty interested in the way this story has been going even though you have been sticking to the main story plot but its not a problem you gave changed alot of things which gives this a fresh air . Now like you im surprised about the fact that this story didn't get that much of reviews / follows etc but i believe that its due to the fact that it still only has 9 chapters i guess ? I see that people are saying that it is expected that end natsu or w/e is supposed to be smarter but i believe that is wrong right because it was never stated in fairy tail that end is an alter ego to natsu or is smarter or something like that while i do agree that this is the fault of Hiro because he never made it clear but if we follow his story then natsu would stay the same even if he gets his end powers only add the fact that he kinda becomes a bit bloodthirsty for zeref's blood . So yeah it shouldn't be surprising for natsu to still be the same dumb typical shonen protagonist . I guess it nothing more to add other than keep up the good work im pretty sure that eventually this story will gets the recognition is deserves but don't be too upset if thats not the case because you know the top stories here are all about shitty romance stories made in the modern world with fairy tail characters

The reason might be because of how you have portrayed Natsu. He is dumber, gets agitated more quickly, and in general not a pleasant character to read. Hell if it weren't for the fact that your story is unique and has a good background established, I would have left already.

This is a great update, keep up the good work.

Tartaros! I saw it coming a mile away. Thanks for the chapter.

Your writing is decent and overall I feel the newness if what is effecting your review count tbh. I find the premise unique and your plot hooks engaging. The future pitfalls would be 100% mirroring canon and not increasing the danger for a more powerful Gray and Natsu. Also, making sure that the reason that Gray doesn't get along with Natsu anymore is very important for the realism of the story so when that will be a very important reveal. (You're my first review and the reason I finally made an accountant after 10 years of reading on FFN so congrats)

Damn dude, your story is pretty good. The only thing in my mind is that I wish to see your Natsu in action. I'm kinda curious just how bad he is, considering the implications of his prowess is all over the place.