Thats all everyone

After everything that just happened, I'll say this. The New Founding Fathers can go duck themselves.

I feel very bad for Kelsey.

This needs work.

Things have taken a toll for the worse until a green poncho arrives and saves Craig and Kelsey from further terror. However, Kelsey now has to deal with the loss of her own father.

As Craig and Kelsey are in severe danger, Neil fights against the purgers till the very end, but ends in a horrible and brutal way.

After reading through this and seeing the reviews were mainly written by the two people who wrote this and some random third person, I feel I must give some actual feedback.

Let us begin with the formatting, the entire story is framed as though it is a late 90's/early 2000's online chatroom and lacks the basics of story formatting such as quotation marks, proper capitalization, complete sentences, the ability to describe action following dialogue, establishing scenes, tone, pacing, emotion via description, the ability to convey a visual image utilizing language and so on.

To be absolutely blunt, it is writing I haven't seen in a long time since Sonic Fans existed in 2008, and this is not a compliment, I thought this type of writing died out by the early 2010s, and yet here it is persisting and just as stagnating as ever.

As for the actual content, I cannot say but this... shouldn't even be a fanfiction. The just of it from what I got is the author is using the clumsy racial bias storyline of the Purge Films and targetting Craig Williams with it by having the Ku Klux Klan attacking him and his family on the merit of being black, which is something that does happen in the Purge Films, especially the third one but the Purge Films were also written by Michael Bay who is to storytelling what a fireworks expert is to an outdoor opera.

Why is the author doing this? I have no idea but one could assume that the author wants to put Craig through this for some potential racial bias, perhaps they're trying to show Craig's strength as a character by putting him in a deadly situation like The Purge, however why is Kelsey protecting him then? Seems a bit of White Savior fixation is going on within this narrative from what I've seen.

The other end of the coin is the author is writing this mainly to put Craig through a bad situation, if not deadly because they are racist themselves but trying to frame it within a narrative where said racism can be blamed onto the characters or groups they include within the story and not the author themselves despite said author writing the story.

Perhaps they just found it funny, and think to put a black kid through the purge appeals to them in some way or they believe it is a story for the ages that must be told. I'm not certain overall, but I can gleam the story makes nearly no sense beyond the two who wrote it which is again, not a compliment as the fundamental basis of writing is transmitting what you want to convey into words for someone else to understand, a story that cannot be understood is an objectively bad story.

The pacing also feels like it's taking forever to get to absolutely nowhere, as ten chapters seem excessive for a plot that could be done in a single chapter if the writers could write at a normal pace, however, I imagine this is taking longer because while they have their own ideas which cannot be communicated somehow they also don't quite know how to get to the end of this story or even connect the points they had in mind.

This story is the definition of bad fanfiction, it's an idea that makes little sense beyond the writers own vision, it is poorly formatted and breaks the fundamentals of writing in ways that should've died out eons ago, it's a story that at best shows the authors do not understand how to handle the topic of racism within their story and at worse shows them to be racist or particularly amused by the plight it causes and of course it comes across by people who like to write, but can't be bothered to sit down and write something out and work on it beyond the first draft.

My main suggestion for this story would be to go look at a book, any book with written text will do and graphic novels do not count for this. Look at one of those older novels and look at how they are formatted, try to do something like that. Establish a scene, use quotation marks, paragraphs, transition sentences, actions, dialogue, and so on. Learn the fundamentals of writing. I published my own fanfiction here because after I saw this story, I knew anything I wrote would not be as bad as this fanfiction and while this story is bad, if not outright one of the worst stories I've ever read I must say the writers, if they even listen to this should not stay this way. Improve, work harder at it, if you like writing you should be constantly doing your best and if this is what you think the best is, then open your horizons and look at some other stories to learn how different people handle it.

Thank you for reading. I hope you have a nice day.

They're gonna fight back? Damn, Neil. You're speaking my language now.

*Pulls out grenade launcher*

Let's raise hell!

Normally I don’t read much of the Fanfictions that are this extreme. However, I'll say, an event like this would defiantly be a horrible image for our country and to the people and leaders of the world who will never look at us the same ever again! *But if the New Founding Fathers excluded murder, rape, vandalism to historical sites, etc. for any other crimes too extreme… perhaps it might work…

Also, I can only imagine near at the end, if some of the Creek Kids (we know and love) came and try to kill Craig and Kelsey.

*From watching reviews and reading the comments with it, many point out more basic and clever crimes they would do other than killing.

A friendship has descended into ANARCHY as Neil turns against Craig and wants him to be... killed...

Reply to me if you guys think the purge would destroy our country the USA?

Craig?!

As the purge begins to get more terrifying, Kelsey finds Craig hiding under his bed. He explains what that horrible group is and why they’re after him.

To Doctor Jupiter shows you that nobody's safe from the purge not even children are safe only the government is safe because of the special immunity

I still can't believe Jessica's dead