really a good concept, but yeah i just cant bear its repetitive dialogues. its kinda stiff and awkward.
if only you can change that and this would be no doubt one enjoyable fanfic.

quite hilarious, Luffy's tattoos mostly flame or sun based. But he got an ice affinity lmao, i feel so high, or do you?

The best story that I have ever read. Please update it very soon.

Okay I gt to this point. The OC you made is to powerful there's no growth when Luffy OC is going t curb stomp everything with mind lightning powers and a fusion devil power based off a God with a fire sword and gun that can shoot elemental bullets. Let's not forget he was a commander in a yankos crew and a special forces member of world gov. Dude... Just to much he doesn't look like luffy act like him use any of his powers manerisms or anything other than his name.

Great chapter cant wait to see how luffy manages to survive this fight with Kaido and how the rest of the world reacts.

So many exposition. So many unnecessary words wasted in explaining the plot which are admittedly quite good.

I really like this story I hope you make more chapters of it.

Good? Bad? Don't like it? That's on us?

Not really, my friend. Anyhow, I'd simply like to say that the story is mostly gramatically sound, so kudos on that. However, what stops one from reading more is the over-use of "said/says/asks."

I think if you try and clean that up, it'll make the story more read-able!

Best of luck,

Gent.

I am intrested in this story and how you are going to keep continuing this story looking foward for more

Damn this is a masterpiece and definitely needs to be read. And incredible job Author-san and keep up the amazing job you've done so farDamn this is a masterpiece and definitely needs to be read. And incredible job Author-san and keep up the amazing job you've done so farDamn this is a masterpiece and definitely needs to be read. And incredible job Author-san and keep up the amazing job you've done so farDamn this is a masterpiece and definitely needs to be read. And incredible job Author-san and keep up the amazing job you've done so farDamn this is a masterpiece and definitely needs to be read. And incredible job Author-san and keep up the amazing job you've done so farDamn this is a masterpiece and definitely needs to be read. And incredible job Author-san and keep up the amazing job you've done so far

The grammar is too horrendous, it sounds like it was written by a middle schooler. Nice concept but unreadable.

Ay i really love this story so much 3
But the part I don't like is that Smoothie is her Mom
I was actually expecting someone else. Its just so awkward for me... Idk why

P. S: I'm not saying its bad

Has Luffy met Yamato yet or no?

great 6 chapters.

Thx for the update