i can't read this. the story line and thought progression jump around way to much. i didn't even get half way through he chapter. characters were not introduced. who is this pink haired man? who is Harru? are they the same person? it feels like i have to stop after ever sentence is read and figure out was it was trying to say in the greater picture of the story. when did Rachel Allucard show up? and the Voice just blatantly ignored the point that harry brought up and nobody even thought twice about it. seriously the way it was sidestepped just brought more attention to it. with that much attention why would anyone with any amount of braincells let that go. i get that this is a based on an anime. but let me let you in on a little secret! anime and manga writing techniques DO NOT make for good literary works. it assumes a visual that literary works inherently cannot get across. thus you have actually use words in a coherent fashion. anime is a fine genre for watching or reading (manga) in a VISUAL graphic novel. but not reading. please go back to the basics of writing if your out of school. if your still in school tell your teacher that you should fail literacy because you obviously didn't learn from them.

if you noticed i did the same thing as you did in your story in this review to give you an idea of what all your torture victims went through. that is randomly throw out thoughts and hope they were coherent.

Love it! I hope you'll continue it. Thx for sharing your talent! Hope more comes soon! Thank you the effort during these trying times. Take care of yourself.

nice chapter! I still vote for Harry/Ruby pairing!

oh dumbles you poor misguided fool.. you have no idea what awaits...

Good chapter can't wait for next update

excellent update

Yes cool chapter!

I don’t know I’m really enjoying the story so far this chapter is just been more interesting than some of the others

excellent update

that confession was pretty cringy and a bit to emo for my taste but aside from that? not bad.

well written stuff even if it moves a bit to quickly for my taste, looking forward to the next chapter though.

Eine nette Story die du hier machst. Gefällt mir wie es sich entwickelt. Sowohl Ruby als auch Yang würden wirklich gut mit Harry harmonieren.

Trotzdem ist deine Art zu schreiben etwas verwirrend. Wenn man RWBY länger nicht geguckt hat, muss man stark nachdenken wo die Szene gerade spielt. Desweiteren ist es es manchmal nicht ausreichend Beschrieben, Handlung und dergleichen. Aber man merkt deutlich wie die Kapitel sich vom Anfang bis jetzt verbessert haben! Mach weiter so und ich bin mir sicher das deine Idee erstklassig sich entwickeln wird.

Für mich persönlich hätte ich nur den Wunsch für längere Kapitel! Es frustriert mich immer, wenn ich was lese was mir gefällt und dann die Kapitel so kurz sind! Echt zum Haare ausreißen!

Mach weiter so und schöne Grüße aus Deutschland

Google translation

A nice story you are doing here. I like how it develops. Both Ruby and Yang would be really good with Harry.

Still, your way of writing is a bit confusing. If you have not watched RWBY for a long time, you have to think hard about where the scene is currently playing. Furthermore, it is sometimes not sufficiently described, action and the like. But you can clearly see how the chapters have improved from the beginning to now! Keep it up and I'm sure that your idea will develop first class.

Personally, I would only wish for longer chapters! It always frustrates me when I read what I like and then the chapters are so short! Real tear to the hair!

Keep up the good work and best regards from Germany

this is a good story to me it seem like the pairing vibe the story vibe is harry with RWBY and Amber. If that's not what you want fine but it's just the vibe I'm getting from this story

Yeah new chapter

excellent update

Awesome chapter.