I love the story

danger and more danger

excellent chapter

fabulous

palpy lost his future apprentice

great

great chapter

very good

wonderful

a cliffhanger

Nicely done. Well written, maybe a couple of little mistakes, but other than that very good. I liked that it finished satisfyingly.

Well, whaouh
It was a good story, i appreciate it, even if i came to hate shmi. It had made the last chapters difficult to read, but im happy i made it !
Thanks !

You've done a great job on this. I'll save my full thoughts for when the epilogue comes :)

Hello, I'm going through this fic for the second time in a few weeks, which makes me realise that the easily read through fic of the first time is a lot more complexe than what I gathered.
It's still a confortable read but now I notice a lot of hooks for later chapters. The apparent simplicity may be caused by the quite fast pace which have action dominating lyricism, despite the large volume of text. But what a complexe, emotional action!

I like the choice of Shmi as main character. When I saw Phantom menace as a child, many things must have flown over my head, but I remember being displeased with Qui-Gon for cheating at dice in order to to free Anakin over his mother; as far as gambling over human beings is acceptable of course. So Shmi must have impressed me even then.

I also like reading Dooku having broken up from the jedi but still on the good side, somewhat. It's at once a minor and massive deviation from the movies.
I regret that he died, but I'm kind of proud of myself for having understood what was going to happen: when he stabbed Qui-Gon in the arena, I bid him goodbye regardless of what the two of them had planned. Nonetheless, I wasn't aware his death would be so instantaneous, and certainly not so brutale. I miss him, but I'm reading further with great pleasure.

On the whole, the largest picture of the plot mirrors the movies, in that the disturbance caused by the chosen one is unavoidable and uncontrollable. Well, I'm off to another re-read to clear my ideas. As I gather things to review, I realise that there is so much to comment.
In terms of twists, I was surprised by the reveal of Qui-Gon being the father. Your fic is full of suspense and uncertainty for a reader like me.

Sidenote: what really happened to Watto?

What a brilliant way you rounded this all off. Excellent job! I'm not sure how much is left now but you have done a very good job on this story :)