the story was going great ...until you made Gohan loose ...he trained his whole life...he has saiyan biology which makes him far stronger than a human by default...the fact that u made videl draw blood from him is ridiculous...you don't know much of the Dragon ball source material now do u ? I can see u r one of those casual DBZ watchers who has no idea how things actually work in DBZ ...your lack of knowledge has forced me to quit your story half way through ...sorry not sorry..

Please no more Saiyaman...

I really liked this story. Well done. There isn't really much to criticize.

I loved what you did with this story. I thought your dialogue between the characters was believable and enjoyable. I also liked your take on how Videl learned the truth from her father. The amount of romance you included was probably close to the perfect amount, in my opinion. But I must admit the ending rubs me the wrong way a little bit. Narratively it makes sense having the story culminate in Videl finally defeating Gohan. And it would be anticlimactic for Videl to learn something new each fight, only to lose again at the conclusion of the story.

But I frankly don’t find it even remotely believable. Sure, Gohan was arrogant against Cell, but that arrogance came from SSJ2 practically making him a different person. I wouldn’t really say overconfidence is defining character trait of Gohan under normal circumstances. Sure, Gohan hadn’t trained in seven years, but that just means his maximum strength, speed, and durability is reduced. It shouldn’t have an impact on his performance when he’s surprising his energy. Even without training since Cell, Gohan is still a more experienced fighter than Videl. All of Videl’s experience comes against other members of Satan’s gym and criminals, none of whom can give her a proper fight. Her only real fighting experience is her fights against Gohan. But all the experience Videl has fighting Gohan is also experience Gohan has fighting Videl. So it just doesn’t make sense for Videl to beat Gohan in a battle of skill. And that’s not even taking into account that Saiyan reflexes and skill-based techniques like the afterimage (which has nothing to do with energy based-techniques) would give him a huge advantage in a battle of skill.

I get why you ended the story the way you did. And I really did enjoy the story over all. But I simply do not find the conclusion to be believe.

Good luck with your story and hey even though Dragon Ball is the foundation to your Gohan and Videl fics atleast for the matter it's still you rewriting the story and since imo they are good I have no doubt your original will be just as good

I greatly appreciate that your fics you give Hercule a just punishment without outright making him seem worse than he actually is sure he is playboy coward compared to the Z gang and liar but in the end if Hercule could have defeated Cell like he assumed he could he would and he deep down does care about the Earth and its people I mean let's be honest how many Dragon Ball characters dont have Skeletons in their closets I could only name a few

I wanted to see goku beat up mr satan haha

This story is great !

I like this take

Top fight!

Gohan lost to Videl in a contest of skill, a guy trained by masters, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA so fuckin dumb.

As much as I liked your story for 6 chapters, Gohan losing leaves just to much a bad aftertaste to even still like your story as a whole. It's an affront to his father, it's an affront to Piccolo. Awfull chapter.

gohan smirking at his girlfriend videl ever since that day when you wrapped your legs around my shoulders and had shoved your pussu into my mouth i said gohan this is the girl that i love that i want to marry videl smirking at her boyfriend gohan hey not so loud

videl saying to her boyfriend gohan and what s wrong with what i wear to school and fight crime gohan saying to his girlfriend videl uh your t shirt is too big i can see that you don't wear bras and that move you did to me sitting on my shoulders while your front would be facing mine or so that your pussy would be near my mouth i knew that you don't wear panties either be quiet keep it down not so loud ssh shut your mouth whispering to her gohan hey i don't want anyone knowing my get my gohan to have sex with me move

I had hope, and gave you a couple. Hatters, but this is pointless.