Such a happy note to end on! Again, I feel like I rushed through this the first read, but I'm so glad I came back to it.

Loved this story. Loved the atmosphere, loved the setting, loved the narration. I also loved the Champion's short appearance, trading rocks for a "rock"-type pokemon was a sweet thing for him to do while still perfectly in character.

I live for Milo and Nimi. They are a perfect pair and if you try to tell me otherwise I'll plug my damn ears.

More golden journal entries. They're quickly becoming my favourite parts of the story. You're funny, even when I'm expecting the joke.

And the speech to the mudkips! Oh my God. Be still my beating heart! Milo is adorable.

The idea of a terrifying Seviper in the wild like that does intrigue me. Was she just the strongest in the forest? Or was she formerly a trained pokemon? I just wonder, since she used flamethrower (which I do remember teaching to a Seviper with a tm, just not sure if they learn it naturally too). As well, you called her mutated at one point. I really would have liked to know what that meant, since it didn't really seem to come up again.

Such a sad note to end on. I feel for Nimi. That's not fun for any kid to deal with. I feel like a lot of kids would run off to live in pokemon in situations like this. Probably a whole bunch of Leanelles all across the pokemon world if you think about it.

Ha! I loved the way you worked that prompt into something manageable. It was almost like watching the gears turn in your head as the grandfather walked Milo through it. Made what seemed like an impossible prompt into a great idea.

I gotta ask, where the hell did the idea for a child-led quest into a dangerous jungle come from? It's just so out of the blue to me. Leave it to you to think up something so preposterous that it's brilliant.

The story itself is as outstanding as always. The culture you crafted in Blaze amazed me, but here it was the forest itself. You brought it to life.

I especially liked the journal entries spread throughout the chapter. Thought they added a lot to the story and helped the forest seem that much more real.

I must have read this in a blur, because I entirely missed Sabine's first appearance. A story about a kid, and yet you have a villain that's straight from nightmares?

Milo is just an absolute rock star. I love the way his voice creeps into the narration, with things happening to him described through the lens of a kid. If I didn't know anything better, I'd say that this story was first person at some point. Some parts of the narration have that child-like tone, but other times its replaced with a slightly different tone. My only complaint is that they clash a bit in a few places, mostly near the end of this chapter.

The funny thing is, this could probably stand as an original short story if you had written it devoid of pokemon. It's just that good.

Haha, this was a cute and fun adventure. Milo was simple but charming, and it makes sense that the Mudkip would be drawn to someone like him. Nima was also a lot of fun. I like how she had a bond with most of the Pokémon of the forest through her music.

The only real nitpick I have is that the plot was a little simple, but I know you were trying to keep your entry shorter this time. Nima having a crush on Shay at the end was also kind of random.

A fun read overall! Thanks for joining in the contest once more!

This is amazing! It went by a little fast, but there’s a 10,000 word limit, so it makes sense. The journals are a clever way of bridging that. I loved Milo, in all his simple-minded glory. Abungu Village reads like a real place as well, although it seemed odd to me that they have state-of-the-art gummy-producing technology, but only an ancient computer that takes three minutes to send an email :): The Leanelle herself is one of the story’s best characters! Although, I must have glossed over Sabine’s introduction in the story’s first half, because the second mention seemed rather out-of-place the first time I read it. However, there were many more things in there the second time around, so I suspect the site just cut it out somehow the first time... Ranger is traded to Nimi, and then... doesn’t come back for the rest of the story? ): It didn’t sit quite right with me, since he belonged to Milo’s grandfather and not Milo himself. You characterized Steven perfectly, even down to his uncanny rock obsession! IDK how he got his hands on a rockruff, though. As a final note, I think it’s incredibly funny/sad that Milo spent more time with the Leanelle/Nimi than he ever did with Talia, and yet he still adores Talia :’) A testament to his simple-mindedness?
9/10

This story is great! I love Nimi. Steven's scene was super funny, too. :-)

So this is super cute. Is Pokewrite a forum? I might check it out if they do contests with entries of this quality. I usually prefer shorter chapters, but the story is great, so whatever. Made me laugh a bunch of times, and the Leanelle is a well rounded character. Time to name my Treecko Ranger in my next ORAS account!

So cool. It’s an awesome story, and I can’t wait to read more. Keep up the good work!