Pleas write more

It was going great, then you had to ruin it by making him a familiar.

Lol, the fact that she was calling to the Void in the first place should be a clue to anyone in the know who just heard that, that Louise's problems are natural to her bloodline. Plus, it does surprise me that not a single person in canon had even considered that possibility. Or, they did but they sacrificed Louise's somewhat relieving answer to her problems due to fear that the Church would somehow find out and kill them. Then again, it doesn't help that knowledge of past users of the Void has been strictly censored by the Church for some bizarre reason.

Meh, correct me if I'm wrong on some of this line of thought. It has been awhile since I last looked at canon for FoZ.

Seems like it can go somewhere, hopefully not a one shot

I really like the story so far and I'm really excited for more

I am not sure about how I feel about this story, but I will favorite it anyway.

Some spelling here the there and goodness use the comas my friend,the comas!.

Good hunter: you call this a fight. Let me show you a fight.

Huh this is the first enthusiastic Yharnamite I've read who isn't obsessed about blood and beasts. It's a welcome change, I suppose, given that most people who ascend into the Great Ones usually end up a lot more...distant, perhaps? Still, I'm curious to see why this hunter seems much more giddy than others.

Nonetheless, while the introduction is catching, I believe you should correct your grammar and punctuation. It's still coherent, but a little review can do a great good. Consider your Good Hunter to not so easily unveil all the mysteries of Yharnam not the plot devices lest the story becomes mere dabbles. Overall, I look forward to future entries.

Please, for the love Kos, learn how to use periods and comas. It is run-on sentence galore here.