I’d love to see this updated. I love where it is going so far

Honestly, I like the story. Sort of. I like the idea, I like the length, and it can be entertaining. But, and there is a big but, there are issues that frustrate me to tears. One more "in the first place" in this text, and I would have been ready to throw my monitor out the window with a battle roar. If there aren't a hundred "in the first places" at the minimum, I swear to drink my coffee without sugar for a week. And this is not the only repetitive phrase, just the most annoying one. "Considering the fact" is another runner up though.

Please, please, please do some editing! Read your texts aloud to catch awkward sentences and repetitions at least.

The other main issue is the constant information dumping. It even starts with a chapter long info dump! The only reason I actually started reading (skipping the dumps altogether btw) is my desperation for another crossover between these fandoms. Truly, when it comes to a story, there aren't all that many WORSE ideas than starting it off with a chapter from a textbook. The most important principle of writing fiction is "show, do not tell." Those info dumps you do are either completely unnecessary, or you are better off building it into the story, gradually revealing whatever is necessary. We do not want to read chapter-long dry info. We read for the action and for the interaction. We read to get carried to an exciting world of fantasy we can get immersed in. Chapter-long details about supplies, island farming and such are NOT what any reader is looking for, believe me. Tbh, you might as well just cut those parts and reduce it to a paragraph or two without hurting your story at all.

Either way though, thanks for sharing. It is obvious a lot of work went into this!

please update soon.

maybe one day you'll Finnish one of these stories I'd love to read when they go to his home island. any timeframe on this?

Rereading this and your other TWD/HP stories and just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your stories. I am really hoping that you will be able to get back to these someday.

I love your stories, don't get me wrong. But you repeat your phrases a lot and its sort of fragmented. Maybe try a beta? Of more careful editing?

Can't wait for the next chapter

please update soon

pineapples don't come from trees. they grow from bushes. just saying.

Oh I can't wait for the CDC. I hope Harry can help Jenner with his research and keep his facility going. Even if the building itself doesn't survive I think Harry should save Jenner. Personally I think it would be great if he helps save the facility from shutting down.

If I'm not mistaken other than the obvious reasons why he would give up (his wife) he still would have continued researching a cure if his samples weren't destroyed and if he had more fuel. Both reasons Harry could remedy in a variety of ways. Prime example would be what he did for his RV and converting the power from gas to magic or just simply bringing in more fuel from either said RV or a raid.

Also while your Harry is very smart and has plenty of books to learn new things from he isn't a scientist, having one on his island or in the CDC researching a cure with plenty of resources to supplement said research would be a great boon to any future plans for a safe community. Not even a cure but having another smart knowledgable person around wouldn't hurt. If you still want the CDC to be destroyed though maybe you could have Harry save Jenner and bring him to the island and pretend he died in the explosion so that he can continue his research, but that's just an idea if you plan on having the CDC be destroyed.

On the concept of pairings though what about Miguel from the nursing home group. Not much is known about him except the one episode so he is a perfect charecter to change as you like without affecting/changing a main character to much.

Keep up the good work and please update soon.

I’m loving the story so far, but I do have one critique. I’ve noticed that you have a lot of incomplete sentences, most of them being participial phrases. This wouldn’t really be a problem if you just connected them to the previous sentence (for the most part—there are exceptions I think in the story) and used a comma instead of a period. Sometimes it just gets a little confusing to read since it makes it a bit more difficult to follow the line of thought and whatnot. But with all that said, I’m really enjoying the story and the plot so far, so please keep it up!

Hmm... I'm not sure about the pairing. Daryl I think is out of the question because me personally I don't see him swinging that way. Also I really want him and carol together. The best I can think of maybe being the guy from the hospital that looks like chris from everybody hates Chris. I can't remember his charecter's name.

Great chapter. Honestly though part of me want to say that Harry is being way to critical of people in the group. But then I remember what happened to him in the earlier chapters and it makes it harder to be sympathetic.

Also if Harry wants to give out anymore supplies maybe he could go out on more supplie runs with Glenn and just give them to him and pretend they "found" them. Just a thought anyway. Keep up the good work.

Great chapter I love the drama. Also I can so picture Lori and Shane acting like that like most people who watched the show I was never there biggest fan. At the same time though I can see why they are so green with envy and greed. With them struggling to survive, seeing Harry clearly bursting at the seams with supplies and quality gear anybody would get greedy. That doesn't give them the right to act like dicks though. Keep up the good work.

Just a thought but maybe he should have the house elves start pairing up as well. I mean just like any poulation it's good to keep the numbers up. Also since they are the only ones in the whole world they need to start increasing there numbers anyway. Also I want little house elf babies!