Hey! I really love this story. The storyline is amazing and I love it. I am looking forward to reading the next chapter. But do take your time.

update

I loveee thisss. Feels like an episode of fairytail itself you're so good. Can't wait for the next update :3

Update soon. Want more with gray and nastu

Someone tell Natsu to have fun storming the castle. Sorry. I couldn’t help picturing Miracle Max in that opening scene. And now I wish someone would write “The Princess Bride” with FT characters. Anyway, nice reunion there. The bro hugs were sweet and manly. Honestly didn’t think he’d get rescued so soon. Or was he? Anything can happen before they actually get back home, so we’ll see. So only fire magic can release the seal? Sweet. The ice mage is totally stoked, I’m sure. Too bad he can’t just freezer burn the thing off. Though if he could do that, the seal wouldn’t be an issue, I suppose. What was that prince’s name, Alexis? I can’t remember. He’s so annoying I can’t be bothered to care. His so wish washy. I think he’d cry to daddy if someone flicked his forehead. So things look like they could be gearing up towards not just a “rescue Gray” adventure, but also a mad dash to rescue the princess from the toady prince as well. Hey, this just became the Princess Bride after all.

Finally got to the conflict! Why is it people from other worlds are always trying to turn our guys into lacrima? It’s like Edolus again, accept thankfully there aren’t any skewed versions of everyone there. Wow, Gray’s kinda screwed. So is he suffering from magic deficiency syndrome or is it some other spell or curse? Also, I’m u sure at what time period this takes place. Is it before or after he becomes a slayer? Because if he’s a slayer, he could always rely on those powers if it’s the ethernano that’s been cut off. If he figures that out. I’d wondered if there’d be repercussions from that.
I like the OCs so far. The princess is likable. I hope he finds an ally in her and friend. The foreign prince is a twit, so if that’s what you’re aiming for, you’ve got him down perfectly. The king, wow, I just want to kick his face off. I really look forward to seeing Gray or Natsu, or maybe Erza throughly beating him down. Doesn’t even need to use powers. Either/or would be satisfying
Speaking of powers, I’m confused. If I read it right, there’s a lack of magic in that world, but certain people can use certain elemental magic? Or is all magic purely elemental there, and anyone has access but must train? I may have to read it again. Some of the writing kinda runs on or drags on in a confusing way, or some detail isn’t necessary or is vague? Honestly, I’m writing this review several days after reading the most recent update, so I can’t really remember. I just remember that there was something about the wording that was a little off, but I can’t remember what. Maybe I’m remembering something from the previous chapters. I don’t know. It’s still enjoyable story telling, so it’s not too distracting.
I’m glad the rest of the team aren’t taking too long to locate him. I was afraid for a moment that it was gonna be chapter after chapter of them trying to find Gray, and Gray having to put up with the king’s crap forever, but now we can see them all in action all that much sooner. I can’t wait. I love that they have a time limit. Makes it more suspenseful. The slight h/c moment was nice, even if he is getting comfort from the “enemy”. Nice to see they aren’t all jackasses. Looking forward to what happens next.

Read chapter four last night, and was gonna review it just now, til I saw chapter five was already up. Dang, that was quick. Anyone who updates that quickly deserves praise. So they got our boy. Was wondering if they wanted him because of a bounty on his head, dead or alive. But now it looks like they really want his powers for something, with how concerned the third dude was about Gray’s well-being. Maybe the tracker hopes kindness will convince Gray to help them willingly? Fat chance with what just happened. I imagine he’s gonna be pissed when next we see him. I can’t wait. Natsu and them must just be sick right now with how their friend was taken so soon after leaving him alone. Can just feel the guilt and anger at themselves for letting their guards down like that. Can’t wait to see how they channel that rage into rescuing him. Of course, I hope to see Gray contribute even a little bit into his own rescue. Can’t really see him as the helpless damsel the entire time. Glad to see his snarky self is still as strong as ever, and hope to see more of that soon. I hope Wendy is included in the rescue team. I like how you wrote her. Good update. Very exciting

Juvia guarding door while Gray is hurt. Like that will fly. LOL...

Wow. For a first time writer, this is pretty good. You’ve set a very good tone and the pacing is good. There’s just enough detail to where it doesn’t feel rushed, and it builds your little world up pretty well. I can’t wait to see what this guy’s deal is with Gray. I’m gonna finish reading the other chapters you’ve posted so far, and I’ll definitely look forward to see where you can take this story next.

Great story so far! Thankyou for writing!

This is definitely a page turner. Very suspenseful. I should totally be asleep right now, but I couldn’t wait to see what happens. So these Trackers...couldn’t help but notice you kept referring to it as “it”. Are they human or not? Do you plan on doing more exposition on this thing later on? I hope so. I’m with Natsu here. Too much confusion for my brain. But that could just be the late hour.
Judging by the summary, and I’m just throwing out guesses here, but it looks like this Tracker wants Gray for his powers. Like it actually wants to steal them? Unless it was contracted out to kill him. Maybe both?
I think the sleep paralysis angle is pretty clever. What a contradiction. It needs you to move so it can track you, but then paralyses you, in order to force you to move. If I may, I think you should add an extra bit to motivate Gray’s need to move while under the vine’s influence. Is he endangered in any way if he just lies there? You made it pretty clear that he’s better off not moving. Maybe the paralysis would spread to his lungs or something unless he actively fought off the effects by burning it out of his system by moving what he could. If anything, it adds a little more of that insidious trait to these things.
I’m not too sure how I feel about it playing a game with them. The explanation behind it is just not flowing with me. If you feel cold, it’s near, and if it’s warm, it’s not? I totally get the relationship between it’s proximity and the temperature, but I don’t really see the point in even relating it to a game. It doesn’t really add to the narrative unless you’re trying to establish the Tracker as something that likes toying with its prey. Even in that situation, the whole “coldnear” concept as just a game just doesn’t play out that well. I think it’s fine without the “game” element. Lucy’s still smart in having been the one to figure it out.
Well so far, I’ve really enjoyed reading this, hopefully at least as much as you’ve enjoyed writing it. It’s got a lot of potential. It’s been a while since anyone’s published a decent in-universe story that’s not set in modern times or an AU. I really wanna see more stories where the team just has an adventure in their own world without all the weird Mary Sues and SI/OCs. It’s especially great to see the team interacting with one another, with the great friendship moments and the concern they have for each other. To me, any story worth reading is worth a decently long review, so I hope this encourages you to keep writing. It’s a great plot, and I enjoy all the mystery involved. The suspense is killer. I was totally getting drawn into it, like I should stop reading this in the dark or something. Keep at it. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
On one final note, I’m happy to see that Jesus exists in your FT world. Cuz that was kinda weird having Levi cry out His name like that. Really unexpected. In a “that doesn’t belong there, it really sticks out” kinda way. But whatever. I don’t even know why it made me laugh.