I loved the different names you used for Nightwhisker, Cinderwing and Ashclaw

noooooooo! I don't blame Ravencloud for being terrified once Bluestar announced Tigerclaw as Lionheart's successor

poor poor Spottedleaf, Brindleface and Sandpaw

I feel bad for Stormpaw-he's still conflicted about leaving his kitty pet life behind.

I didn't realize Fuzzypelt also died in the last Sunningrocks battle

oooh! I thing storm paw has a crush on Cherrysong

A good story so far.
However, pacing is a little rough, as are some sections in the story. The characters mostly stay in character, so there is that. The twist with Cherry song was quite unexpected, which means I have failed as a writer.
Overall, good job

Spottedleaf. WHAT THE FUCK!

oh my ... Poor Cherrysong. She took the news about her parentage rather well

It's good that Bluestar actually knows what's going on. In canon, I always wondered why she never listened to those rumors. Like, come on, you're cats are in danger and you're just gonna turn a blind ear to everything and leave it all to StarClan to figure out? Seriously?

That's probably why she even let Firepaw go in canon.

Good story. Some hiccups with the Ravencloud being made a warrior offscreen and stuff like that. I would recommend keeping track of everything through creating your own cliffnotes or find some other way to record all the important stuff that happens each chapter. Will help keep details clear later on, at least in my experience.

I don't remember Ravencloud's ceremony. First I heard of his warrior name was this chapter when Redtail said it to Firepaw and I thought it was a typo.

Ooh, this was a great chapter!

I assume that the dream Redtail shared was warning Firepaw about Spottedleaf's death, considering she "wilted." For one, I like the idea of the deceased deputy guiding Firepaw. And two, you tackled the medicine cat's death well. The way you wrote it was more like losing your mother rather than losing your first crush, the former being much much more heart-wrenching than the latter should be.

I see why you kept the secret Spottedleaf told Firestar a secret from the readers as well until now, and I can say that I was definitely surprised, yet it made sense. I suppose she took after her mother's appearance and nature, as Stormpaw had mentioned she was kind and caring.

I can almost smell the tension building for the climax of the story. I like how Graypaw seems a little more like the Graystripe we know and love at the moment, though it seems a little abrupt. I wonder if they are going to find Stormpaw though, taking the chapter before where the former kittypet thought he shouldn't be in the Clan.

In conclusion, this was really wonderful!

Mm, this chapter has a lot of important plot points that I want to dissect.

I can already guess what Redtail's message to Firepaw was about, and I'm predicting that he's referring to Graypaw's future relationship with Silverstream. I'm excited to see how you'll tackle the first forbidden romance in the series and how it'll affect Graypaw and Firepaw's relationship.

I feel like the battle with the rats was written with minimal detail and could have been longer, but the scene where he learns that Bluestar does have nine lives carried a lot of weight. It was somewhat amusing to see him believe that she was dead in a way. On the topic of death, it breaks my heart to see Firepaw grieve for Lionheart. It could have been paced more thoroughly and maybe include a flashback or him reminiscing about the deputy, but the emotion was still communicated well.

I'm a little confused because you refer to Ravenpaw as Ravencloud. Ravencloud is a major character and I don't think his warrior ceremony should have been glossed over in a timeskip.

Overall, it was still a good chapter with no grammatical mistakes or spelling errors. There may have been some issues with pacing, but still, not bad. I can't wait to see what else is in store!

~Lauren

I feel like I can guess what's going to happen next based on the events of the first book, and those events aren't that pretty.

I love the way you tackled introducing Littlepaw! He's such a bean and I really like the interaction. I can see that he really cares about his Clanmates and his Clan, but is also unhappy under Brokenstar's rule because he understands it isn't right. I can also see how you're setting him up to be ShadowClan's next medicine cat.

I hope that this journey brings Graypaw closer to Firepaw because I miss the personality of the original Graypaw. But all in all, great chapter!

~Lauren

This was a pretty nice chapter. I like seeing more of Yellowfang - and always more Yellowfang. She was written in-character as well, so I definitely appreciate that. However, I would have liked a little more depth to the trial itself to add onto the Warriors universe.

I don't have that much to say on this chapter, but I hope you have something great for the next one! I'll be patiently waiting!

~Lauren

can you maybe not permanently scare any off the apprentices please it will get too sad

what's wrong with cherry song being a mentor