what? gina sleep with yusei?! what episode is this?!

I myself have aspergers on the higher end of the spectrum. I had trouble growing up because of my behavior. I’m ashamed to admit that it got so bad sometimes I made my own mother cry and terrified my younger siblings to the point where they had to look themselves in a room in order to keep safe

Okay so now that I have reread your old story, I’d like to leave a review to point some things out to you, so that you can keep certain things in mind when you’re writing the chapter for the newer version. This review is going to be quite long, since I’ll be mentioning a lot of things from various chapters, however I try to focus on the later chapters as you’ve already written the Fortune Cup and part of the Dark Signer Arc in the newer version.
To make it easier for you to read (and to make it easier for me to write and give some logic into this review) I’ll split this review up into certain points I’d like to talk about.

Starting off with: Out of Characterness
I think this point has been mentioned by some other reviewer already. Most of the characters seem very out of character in certain chapters. This is especially something that concerns the minor characters (eg. everyone except Yusei), and also it seems to appear more and more as the story continues (at least that’s my impression when reading the story). A lot of these problems occur due to dub-dialog (which made the characters in the dub-version of the anime itself out of character), but apart from that some “plot-points” you decided to add to the story, made the characters even more out of character. For example after the whole Dark Signer incident Aki was one of those characters that was very out of character most of the time, which is mostly due to the fact that she “fell in love” with Estelle and thus says questionable things and behaves very questionable in general.
With that thing I general have some problems as the wording doesn’t seem to fit the whole situation at all. It is clear that Aki somewhat has a crush on Estelle, but I think calling that “love” seems a bit too much in my opinion as we don’t really have Aki’s point of view on that whole thing apart from chapter 38 where we as a reader figure out that Aki seems to be more interested in women that in men (a point that I’ll talk about later too). Apart from that nothing signalizes us that Aki’s feelings are more than a crush so I think it either should be worded like that or we should get more insight into Aki’s feelings beforehand (or after that scene in chapter 43, it doesn’t matter), so that the whole thing makes more sense to the reader. Now coming back to the thing about Aki preferring females over males: why exactly is she bisexual when she never fell for a guy and the only people she “loved” are Sherry and Estelle? I don’t have anything against bisexuals, but if a person says herself, that she never felt anything special for a boy and only had a crush on a dude because he is handsome – which can’t even be considered as a crush in my opinion – then it doesn’t makes sense to me to label myself as bisexual. But since I’m not bisexual myself I probably can give you a pass (even though I as a lesbian would identify that behaviour as lesbian behaviour and thus I think she should label herself like that, but that’s just my two cents on that, bisexuals might feel different about it).
Moving on to another character that I think wasn’t really treated well in this story: Sherry. I think it should be clear that Sherry is my favourite character in the series (especially when you see my profile picture) and therefore I think she deserves more than being treated badly most of the time. I know my wording here sounds a bit harsh, but especially after reading chapter 87 in which Estelle says the whole thing with “a pen is stronger than a sword” and the whole scene in general rubs me the wrong way. Sherry has been living in at least four different countries (three of those are countries in which English is the first language; except if Sherry was in the French-speaking part of Canada, I can’t really figure that out with the map they show in the anime), so I’m pretty sure she knows the meaning of that sentence. And in general sometimes it’s really annoying to read how everyone – except Estelle of course – has no idea how the language they speak in works and is so “astonished” with the way Estelle says some things. At least to me that’s kind of disrespectful to the other characters.

Questionable relationships
Moving on to a point that has quite a lot to do with out of characterness: the relationships. I’ve already talked about Aki’s questionable definitions of what she considers to be a crush and what she considers to be love, and we’ll get more into detail of her questionable definitions later in this section too. But generally I’d like to mention that most of the relationships aren’t formed in a good way. We basically get little to no information of how the characters fell in love with certain other characters. For example Crow and Beatrix or Rua and Laila. In both of them we get little information about how that even happened, as all they did basically is blushing at some point. I do know that there will be a second “book” in which we’ll get insight into the Signers adult life, and there we’ll probably get information about what happened after Ark Cradle, but I still think for the relationships you’ll need to put at least a little more informations into the first book as well, to make it believable for the reader.
Going back to Aki’s questionable definitions: I’m pretty sure you already know about the problem here, since another reviewer has already mentioned it quite often, but I still think having this included into this point is a good thing, so that you can just look at this review and know how to make things different with the newer version. I’ve already talked about how in my opinion the crush on Yusei shouldn’t be considered one, and that Aki’s “love” for Estelle seems more like a crush rather than actual love. However, we still face the same definition-problem with Sherry, as Aki doesn’t really have a crush on Sherry in my opinion (and certainly she doesn’t love her in the first 104 chapters). As someone who’s really a fan of this shipping, it really makes me sad to see how we first were teased with Roseknightshipping in the description – which was removed eventually – and then the shipping is half-heartedly included into this story, with mere hints that Aki somewhat likes Sherry (eg. blushing, and that one time in chapter 100 where Aki says “the woman I had grown a liking to”). I thought that in the last chapter, where everyone basically talked about their wives (Jack and Crow for example), we’d get at least a little more about Akis relationship with Sherry, but all we got was that those two married, but other than that Aki only thinks about Estelles words and that she told Yusei about the crush she once had on him before she flew off to Germany (which was really unnecessary to include in my opinion). I know other ships besides Yusei/Estelle aren’t really in your focus, but if you want to include other ships you should at least add some things, so that people who are fans of those ships have something to look forward to as well.

Over-Powered main Character
Now that we have talked about the side-characters of the story, let’s focus on the main-character: Estelle. I know she’s the protagonist and thus she certainly has a lot of things to do, but somehow – at least in this version, and even in some parts of the newer version – Estelle seems really over-powered, which is something you should definitely try to avoid. And also, some sentences she says makes her at least to me kind of annoying. In this version for example, after the whole Dark Signer incident, she says “it was mostly me who did the job” which makes her seem very arrogant. Also the fact that basically whenever she’s upset with something she can use her powers against the enemy, but if someone else does that, Estelle says that fighting is not the solution, which is very hypocritical if you ask me. And one thing that is very Sue-like is that basically everyone – except Crow sometimes – just listens to the things Estelle says (which is also something another reviewer has said in a review to your new version). The whole third Arc of the story basically consists of filler chapters and Estelle not warning anyone, that something bad will happen. At least Crow had a normal reaction to that as he was really angry with Estelle not telling him that he’ll end up with a fractured shoulder and that he won’t be able to participate in the WRGP. However, if it’s something else that Estelle should warn them about, and she doesn’t and someone asks why she didn’t do it, she either says, that she can’t remember everything that happened in the anime or that in the original anime some events were different (eg. there was no Crimson Star Priestess etc.), and thus she didn’t know that was going to happen. Both are really lame excuses if you ask me, because in both cases she shouldn’t have said that she’ll warn the Signers if something bad will happen, so that they are at least prepared for that. And the fact that nobody – except for Crow – is angry with her that she didn’t warn them, is very Mary-Sue-like for Estelle and also very out of character for every other character. And therefore some of the things that happened in those eight years after the Ark Cradle incident aren’t really logical at all (eg. the whole roseknight-thing).

That was quite a long review, I know, and I hope you don’t think that I hate the story just because I criticised a lot. I just want you to think about the points I have written here (even though I mostly got lost in talking about my favourite characters and their relationship – sorry about that), so that you can avoid these in the newer version, to have an overall better story.
I’d really like to hear your thoughts on the points I have made, so I hope to see your answer via pn.

À bientôt

Firstly I have to say that the name of this final chapter reminds me of the Pokemon song form Pikachu's jukebox.

So in a way it is like 8 years later but with your own touch of the gang moving on.

Those two got together yes!

I am imagining the scene of the Atlas family and it is such a cute picture. I melted a little imagining the scene. That is just such a cute scene.

Awwww, I am touched by Akiza's words. Man, I promised I am not going to get teary but man that is sad that Akiza says despite her healing abilities it doesn't stop the pain of losing Estelle. I love that Akiza ended up following her heart with a certain someone.

Awww, Crow is about to become a proud daddy, that is so cute to imagine that. Especially with his parents watching over his wife.

I am interested to see how the result of losing Estelle brought Luna to studying about other realms to see if she could bring back Estelle for Yusei.

Awwww, Yusei. Man, it must be hard for him to be happy when his only happiness was torn away from him. Awww, you just want to hug him. He now has family but it must get to him that he can't get the same happiness as his friends.

Never mind tearing up, I am just outright sobbing so please excuse me a moment...

Okay, well I am still crying but Yusei's words are touching. I mean he spent so long alone and he must have imagined the idea of having a family for so long. Now the only one who he could have ever wanted to have that family with is gone from his grasp. I mean how can one person not cry at that thought of Yusei not being able to get that chance to have a child call him daddy because the love of his life is gone from him.

Awww, she really thought it was part of a dream or maybe a cause from her coma. That must have been hard and exhausting on a person. I mean one can try to argue logically it was a dream, but man for Estelle it was so much more then a dream.

Oh wow, that must have been a shock to realize it is real. But man, Estelle must have been really homesick and lonely.

Suddenly I am imagining the rest of the gang making a run to get a phone to contact the others when they felt Estelle's presence. I am imagining Jack demanding for a phone, or just taking a phone away from the closest person to call Yusei, while Akiza she might just grab the closest phone she can get her hands on to get Sherry to find Yusei. Meanwhile Crow would be on the road trying to get in touch with someone. Hmmmm, maybe Leo would be scrambling for a phone while Luna would be looking for her phone to get in touch with someone as she tries to wrap her head around sensing Estelle.

They are finally together again. That is so sweet. I really love the ending Estelle has for her and Yusei now that they are back together. Its just a great way to end it. Very beautiful. :)

Nice seeing the original version back on this site! I'll be sure to leave a review here or there, mostly for some chapters that always have been my favourites from the fic.
As for comparisons that I'll probably make I'll just post the reviews on the newer version of the fanfiction, so that you'll still be able to change things that seem unlogical or whatnot there. ;)

I agree we need that sonic story but if u have to revisit and revise it that all right by me but it was one of my first sonic fanfic with an amazing original Cast along with the Sonic Team please take a consideration when u finish with your main projects.

I sorry if this sounds rude. But, I wish you would also repost the original version of your Sonic X story. I was was my favorite.