The way your describing stuff we dont get a clear picture

Already ten pokemon? I think I'll drop this story here.

Awww :(

I was so excited when Ash kept mentioning getting a team of six. So many fics have trainers get more pokemon than they can train, and then they sit around in the PC most of the time. Why would a pokemon even want to partner with a trainer that keeps them stuck at a ranch most of the time?

It really killed my enthusiasm in this chapter when Ash thought that he get up to TWENTY pokemon. This fic has been so good about treating pokemon as characters, it's so sad that you're planning to move to treating them as disposable things to be switched out and neglected.

I like that you're keeping the weakness of dragon types; their slow growth. It makes the progression feel much more earned and impressive.

I'm excited for this fic, I can see you're taking the training and realism aspect of the story seriously. The nicknames are well chosen too.

Catching two shiny dragons in one day is a bit excessive though, I hope Ash's pace of catching pokemon slows down a bit.

I hope that Ash gets some more confidence with Anubis there. Besides an overprotective Krookodile is gonna be hillarious later on.

Grts Jekke604

Luck is when preparation meets opportunity, Giovanni is gonna rue the day he let gible go.

Grts Jekke604

Nice luck, since there are already 18 chapters out by the time I'm writing this it won't really matter but still be carefull with the shiny's. They are awesome but also supposed to be rare.

Nevertheless nice going

Grts Jekke604

Great start, can't wait to find out how the show growing dragons will turn into titans of massa destruction.

Grts Jekke604

Author, it's probably unlikely you'd put him in this story, but the moment I saw Froakie and remembered Greninja was a Dark-type, I *screamed* and started excitedly chanting Ash-Greninja.

God, this fic is so good.

Just finished binge reading up to this point. Have to say loving the style. Nice dark with some angst but having warm moments with his team. You have been really good at balancing power, control, and circumstance. You showed that he might be a 'chosen one' but have made sure that nothing seems has just been handed to him. Even when he caught some stupidly rare Pokemon there were always strings or baggage attached so he had to earn every step. Can't wait to see where you take this.

Tone down the horseshit drama, will you? Everyone comes across as a spastic dumbass who flies off at the slightest provocation.

hi! i've read your work many times, but each time i read it again, i somehow manage to enjoy it more and more. i was thrilled to see that you uploaded and hope you can update in the near future. i'm really looking forward to the battle between vesper and ash. it would be very interesting to see how much they both have grown, and doing that in a battle.
if you don't mind me for requesting, i would like to see how ash would manage his team if he added a dreepy to it. it is a dragon type and could counter the weakness that dark types have: fighting with his ghost-typing. i understand if you do not, as i cannot possibly see you attending to all the requests your other readers have, although it would be lovely if you did. a few evolutions would also be much appricated, especially for hades and megara. thank you for a wonderful book!

Yep, sadly I'm out. Your characters aren't very believable, the prejudices that they have are unsubstantiated and pretty ridiculous. And the straw that broke the camel's back was how Ash reacted to getting punched.

For someone who's striving to become a trainer of dragon pokemon which you repeatedly say are prideful and require a trainer that stands up to them, Ash does a fantastic imitation of a doormat. It's not even his social awkwardness which is the issue, it's that he repeatedly does not stand up for himself, against Gary (his supposed best friend), the trainers in the pokemon center when he first meets Team Rocket, and now against Vesper, someone who Ash believes is sadistic.

I think you're trying too hard to make Lance dislikeable and it's not reflecting well on Ash. In the previous chapter, you mention how Ash dislikes Lance for making the dragon type somehow less attractive to native Kanto-ens by... never losing and being too powerful.

Yea... trainers are going to be put off by that. You've got to either explain better why Ash feels that way, or it just ends up petty.

Like in this chapter, you went out of the way to make Lance seem like an ass (and irrationally at that). The champion of Kanto spent his valuable time coming down to a pokemon center to pick up a Gible, gave it away instead and when evaluating the trainer, gives him the simplest of advice (train a small pokemon for speed rather than power... such great advice) then insults the rest of his pokemon instead of encouraging him. Is your portrayal of Lance autistic?

I really want to like this fic, the writing is decent and I like its premise, but this is really eroding my interest.