Loved the chapter. I love them together, please update it soon. Can't wait to read more! :)

Your romances has improved vastly and it's very sweet. An adorable piece like always and just as enjoyable as the rest of your works. It was funny with their interaction and the bit about the 'comics' was cute and funny and the build up to their kiss was very lovely as well.

Liking the story so far. Please update it soon, can't wait to read more! :)

I'll say this is super cute and adorable. The intro was well done, you went the extra mile and just had to two lie there and wallow in one another's warmth, which makes things even more fluffier.

Aww, Kouya is joining them, that's so sweet.

And cliff hanger, womp, womp.

Critiques:

You need to use the five senses to help get the reader really into the story.

'Damn, his voice is really hot. I wish he sounded like this all the time!'

Should be:
Whoa...his voice is lovely.

Treat thoughts just like dialog, short and simple!

I'd also suggest it's better to show how a character feels with expression and less with the thoughts. You should only use thoughts here and there kinda like adverbs and to also stress what occurred before they thought that.

As funny as it was for Tatsuki to throw Chuukchi, you got to treat your stories like a story and less like an anime or it'll become a bad habit.

Overall, it's super sweet and adorable and keep up the lovely work!

Wow, what a chapter! I like how you take the time to go through how each character reacts, and what they're thinking.

Your writing itself is very good, and everybody feels very much in character.

Keep up the great work!

Oh goodness, this was so cute and adorable! You wouldn't expect these two to be a pair at first, but I think you showed how perfectly they complement each other! I really liked the nod to the takoyaki umaibo like in the game, that was cute.

I think the best part about this whole fic is showing how Tatsuki gets past Kouya's tough exterior and into his caring heart. And it's just by Tatsuki being himself! It's nice to give them just be able to talk and think about things for a while.

I'm not sure there's much else to say, except it's clear how carefully you constructed every detail and moment in service of the story, which is great! Every word feels like it has a purpose.

It would be really cool if you write more, but this piece is excellent on its own!

Looks good, will there be more chapters? I'd love to read more! :)

Okay, I don't know how to describe how adorable this was. I know, or think, most of this was a reference to the events in the VN but were more fleshed out? If I'm recalling correctly. But, overall, this is by far the sweetest thing I've read in awhile.

Their whole conversation in the bath was adorable and cheesy but I liked how they snuggled together all the way to when they went to sleep, which had me smiling through out it because I just love hugs and snuggles and the two fit together so well.

I don't have any critiques really besides them not kissing, c'mon, I was expecting that at the end and even then you teased so much but even then, it's still very wholesome and sweet!

Okay, the interaction between the too is absolutely wonderful! Each one put a smile and my face and I just couldn't stop reading.

I feel like the candy bit is a bit of a call back from Konousuke's route? Maybe? It's been ages.

Okay, the part of Kouya calling Tora chronic-dumbabutt was just...oh lord, that's just too good.

This is just too sweet, it's like...I can't really come up with anything that's this sweet honestly.

Tatsuki, frick is that how his name is spelled, is helping Kouya grow and it's just, ahhh, I love it, this is what ship fic need, growth and understanding.

Coming in, blind as a bat to this fandom. I like the subtleties in the dynamic established between Kouya and Tatsuki, and how you show how Kouya keeps his intentions closer to the chest, while Tatsuki seems more obvious about expressing his feelings, yet he's guarded in a different way. I always like when I can infer stuff from the prose!

One thing you can consider is the amount of detail given to a character or moment in any scene. For example, with this line: [Tatsuki smiled weakly. His eyes were glassy and wet with unshed tears.] We can infer that Tatsuki is pretty broken up about something. But if you wanted to ease into it a bit, you might write something like this:
[Tatsuki gave a weak smile. His eyes were glassy and wet.] That way, Kouya and the audience will probably have to take a moment to realize that Tatsuki is holding back tears without pointing it out explicitly, and then go "oh shit".

Another example, when Touya steps into the candy store. What are these "wonderful scents" that make his mouth water? How familiar is he with the environment? Do all the little labels for products stick out to him or does he gloss over them in pursuit of cooling off? Little hints of the surroundings, the sensory stuff like grass versus pavement, his clothes clinging to his body thanks to the heat of the summer sun, etc. can go a long way in immersing the reader in the world you're writing about. That takes practice. You're on the right track, so keep at it!

Additionally, the thought: [Things just aren't fair anymore.] could be put on the same line as [Now we've all got jobs, school activities, higher education...] as Kouya is still continuing the thought.

There's only a couple typos that stuck out to me:
[His faced constricted into pain] - should be face
[Kouya snickered. "Well, the guy is happy. I I can't blame him."] - was this meant to indicate a stutter or is this a typo?

That's about all I have to say. It's a good start to the story. :)