Hi, i just wanna say that you are an amazing author!
It has been years since ive read a story so meaningful and metaphorically astute! It honestly is really amazing! I cant wait to read more! This should be on bookshelves on every bookstore and online likeAo3, spacebattles and tvtropes! Id love to do an audiobook cover of this! You truly are a genius. You’re an exceptionally insightful writer, but I think you already know that; your work says it all! :)

Please update this story is so good and can't wait to see what happens next

Excelente

Excelente muy bien me fascinó

Excelente comienzo de la historia

Hello! First off, the plot of your story sounds quite compelling! It's definitely not a bad start :)

However, I'd like to point out a few things. When a new character is speaking, make sure to start a new paragraph. (This is not a flame, just a constructive criticism!)
Example:
Harry sighed. "How do I know I can trust you?"
"You just have to," she answered.
That way it's grammatically correct and doesn't seem rushed. You also missed a few commas, but you'll get the hang of that in time. I can't believe you're not even in middle school- you're writing's brilliant for someone so young! Just make sure to start a new paragraph when a new character speaks and look out for commas!

Good luck!

Holy smoke! Not even in middle school yet? You're doing great! Sounds like a good plot start to me so I'll be reading. I like those stories where he finds things out , gets mad and gets all cunning, strong and smart. Hope this is one and I hope Harry doesn't get to dark.