This was really fun and super intense! I love the direction the characters are going and those nods to canon such as Zuko learning lightning redirection, Azula fighting dirty on the drill, and Aang's fall. And it was really interesting to see Mai join the group. But man, Jet's story seems almost destined to end in tragedy. I felt so sad for him in the end even though I knew the truth would crush him. The addition of Shizue and fleshing out of Biyu was a nice touch. Also, writing that last scene in Azula's POV was amazeballs. The way she really started to fall apart... and of course having Longshot shoot her was such an unexpected ploy but perfect (and heartbreaking) as it spared Zuko from having to end it himself. Really looking forward to the next installment.

Another good book, the dramatic stakes in Ba Sing Se that built up to the final confrontation were amazing. You did a great job juggling separate arcs for the characters and weaving them together and taking them apart as needed. Zuko and Katara's growing relationship had some pretty brilliant moments, Azula's plotline with Jet and continued rivalry with Zuko, Sokka and Mai's storyline, Zuko caring so deeply for Toph's struggle, and Toph overcoming her own trauma were all things that have left an impression with me.

Looking forward to seeing where the story goes from here.

Amazing, love this story sooooo much! Gonna keep goingcan’t wait for the next part!

me: absolutely no way the jin and luan/mai situation works out well in the end
also me: please let luan/mai be jin and sokka's bisexual awakening please let luan/mai be jin and sokka's bisexual awakening please let luan/mai be jin and sokka's bisexual awakening please let luan/mai be jin and sokka's bisexual awakening please-

BRO JET AZULA IS GENIUS

As I finished this, all I could say was, “well damn”

You’ve crafted quite the story! I really liked Azula’s storyline with Lee. And overall, you humanized her. And Zuko has come so far. And Toph...woah.

I didn’t guess the revival, but I did guess where the doors were going. Good story

Me throughout this chapter:
-omg Toph will she be ok omg
-nevermind, it’s Toph
-OMG TOPH WILL SHE BE OK OMG

You know, sometimes when a story is getting incredibly exciting, I scroll the page down as to not accidentally catch a glimpse of a later sentence while reading, so the moment won’t be spoiled. Which is a feat in and on itself, considering I’m no patient person and want to know how it continues. However, your Undying series is the one that made me do this scroll-as-to-not-spoil thing the most often, it’s THAT good. You don’t always need fancy words or expressions, you just have a simple but effective way of getting to someone with your words

Damn, this plot’s getting thicker than Kim K’s butt

So, some issues just like last book, though you seem to be straying from canon more and more which is good. Your writing proficiency and overall composition is high as always, making the material easier to digest even if I think the actual narrative isn’t as good as it should be.

So, with the Avatar losing the ability to enter his Avatar State... in sorry to say that the whole thing comes out as contrived and forced. It’s in my opinion, stupid to give a character a power up, only to do something to interfere with it very soon after. Why give it to them in the first place? You could have just as easily made it where with Aang’s new connections and friendships, the last Chakra was even harder to breakthrough, and left it at that.

In regards to Zuko being imprisoned again... it’s getting aggravating. First he’s a Water Tribe prisoner, then a prisoner of amnesia, and now once again he is imprisonments. Also the whole “no killing” thing is very stupid. The only reason explicit killing didn’t really happen often, if at all was because it was on Nickelodeon and a kids show. Now that you’re most definitely writing it with mature themes... you have to at least have scenarios or situations where the characters do in fact kill because they can’t afford not to. This is a war, and their enemies will kill. As you’ve just shown, the enemies will gravely wound other like Azula did with Mai. It’s hypocritical and stupid to hold back when that can literally cost more lives because of your naïveté. I expect better. You either make it purely a kids show in how you display it, or actually roll with the mature nature of war. Commit, don’t be flaky.

Now onto Zuko... as seen, this is our protagonist, the story title is indicative of him being the Protagonist. He’s improved a lot, so him being reckless and stupid is even more aggravating. If he’s going to be that, at least have him be more competent or skilled, and actually freaking useful. It’s annoying to have him constantly having help to fight anyone of a “named” caliber. For ducks sake, let him stand on his own feet. Let him have some willpower and not angst for two goddamn minutes. His chakras being unlocked should make him mentally more stable to the point he isn’t in his head beating himself up over every little thing. That’s my real issue. The angst is starting to creep up and blot out the good points of his story, end enhance some minor flaws to the point that reading is becoming a chore as it just aggravates me.

Here’s to hoping it improves later on like the last book, remember to take what I say as majorly opinion with a mix in of some general writing advice.

Awe, poor guy

I’m crying, Azula...noooooooonsnsnsksksksjffjkcked

Wow, that was intense, seeing all the internal struggle of Azula, this story is the best I've read of Avatar, you're a great writer.

hey
HEY
tHAT WASNT OK
Normally i hate Jet with all the burning fiery passion of a thousand suns, how dare you make me actually care about him and then THIS I mean I should have known it was going to happen but I still HOPED yknow and just, just
OUCH