Your Feedback/Grading for Assignment #7

Examiner: Kyrie

Grade: 19.5/20 - O (Outstanding)

Feedback: "Salazar Slytherin: I love what you did with Salazar here. You emphasized his pain and the violence – abuse, even – he experienced as a child and I'm not even sure how it came to him leaving, but it was a really good way to show the things that Salazar was willing to do to protect his home from the kind of people he left behind. Amazing work! The character interactions you included were raw with emotions and had very vivid descriptions. I liked the way you described the unique relationship between Godric and Salazar. It really added to the depth of the characterization. I found the story to be very original. Not only did you use a GodricSalazar pairing, but you also introduced a totally new perspective on why Salazar wouldn't have wanted Muggleborns in a school he helped built; the place he considers his home. I found that to be very new and interesting. The general flow of the story was great. The pacing was neither too fast not too slow. The dialogue was well written and the prose complemented it really well. The prompt was used throughout the story, but it felt like there was two different ways you had used it. One in the way Salazar's parents depleted his energy through exorcisms, and the other in the way Godric was dying. The impact your use of the prompt gave your story was shattering. It was used originally and uniquely. The plot was quite detailed, but it wasn't overwhelming. There were no plot holes and the story was complete. I absolutely loved this story, personally. It was just the right amount of bittersweet and it involved a lot of personal baggage that, through a simple question, was misunderstood and ostracized for. I can't get over the realistic take you used in the story. 10/10 would recommend. There were places where you used "..., and" without following up with an independent sentence. That can easily be fixed by, well, making it an independent sentence. Other than that, there were no noticeable SPaG errors. Great work on your writing! You've kept yourself within the word limit. The task is included in the AN."

Hmmm...

Wouldn't his experiences make him more, not less, willing to take muggleborns in to protect them? Keep writing