imagine being able to give some really cool and unique sacred gear/ special power for your oc but you choose some boring overused swords

Here's an advice if you are having problems with grammars and punctuation you can use grammarly even if you are not fluent in English.

The story overall was pretty good
My only real pet peeve was that the chief god killed him, reincarnated him and basically didn't give a flying fuck about his opinion on the matter despite saying he's sorry.
If he was more of a whelp, i kinda sorta fucked up sorry kiddo but you get to experience life again whether you want to or not. Kinda guy it would make more sense

I am a little disappointed that this story is getting rewritten since I really like what you had done so far but if you say the rewrite is going to be even better then I look forward to I really like that you’re going to include more Gabriel since I love the interactions between her and Sakuya and something’s that I think you should include for the rewrite is maybe include Irina more in the relationship since I thought it was kind of weird that she would sleep in the same bed with Sakuya and the girls even though she was the only one not in a relationship with him at the time, and maybe explain how he got such a big power boost after the vampire incident to the point he was able to solo all the girls in their training session, and if I had to say one more change, in the fight with Kokabiel have him use balance breaker since it seems kind of far fetched that he could beat him as easily as he did without it since Vali probably couldn’t have beat Kokabiel like he did in the anime without his balance breaker and since you mentioned during their fight during the peace treaty Vali’s specs were higher than Sakuya’s so him beating Kokabiel with balance breaker just feel more right but that’s up to you it’s your story also I have a suggestion if you plan for Sakuya to get a power up from Ophis like issea I think you could draw inspiration from is the legendary knight cards from Yugioh I can’t exactly remember which one it was but I know there was one that had the power of infinity so I think that could help give you an idea for what Sakuya’s form or transformation could look like that’s all I have to say sorry if it’s a bit long but I hope my suggestions are helpful and I look forward to the first chapter of the rewrite.

If the criticism is valid I'd agree and most the time im the one who leaves criticisms in a story but most of these criticisms are just stupid. And these childish suggestions and demands is concerning if the author actually listens to them.

Suggesting a harem member? Okay, understandable we all have a preferred waifus in DxD even i leave my suggestions on harem members. But wanting to give him exact copies of random anime powers is cringy.

Stfu EDIROS. I've seen a lot of criticisms mixed with their own retarded demands of what they want to see in the story and i ignore them but yours Ediros is probably the worst and most toxic i can't ignore it.

You're one of those retards who complains about DxD a lot but still reads fics of it anyway. What do you expect the OC to do anyway? Treat his new parents and brother like strangers and only see this world as a role playing game? The best isekais are those who actually accepts and blends into the world and what would lingering to his old world do any good anyway? And who wants to read about those?

Also how do you expect him to treat Issei? Bully him? Let him die? Accepting flaws is natural for family the fact you don't know that speaks of what kind of garbage you are.

And that's not even the worst. The part that made me write this comment is after reading the bottom part of your comment. You don't get what you want in the story so you throw a tantrum like a brat and say your sh*tty expectations like a hostage taker making demands. Why don't you write your own story.

Even though your french I'm still impressed with your writing. Some grammar mistake. However getting a betareader or proofreader who who's more fluent in English but can also communicate in French might help you out.

Also, get a beta reader. Reading through story with elementary level of grammar and ortography is not pleasant, to put mildly.

Wow, you have completly destroyed any hope I had for your fanfiction in just 3 chapters.

Not only is your character Issei's brother, meaning he will protect him (since for some reason, he cares about him, despite knowing how pathetic and disguisting Issei is). And the whole excuse of him being his brother is not enough for me, I am afraid.

It also means that the odds of Issei not getting his harem and the story being almost exact the same as in canon are close to none.

Your characters is boring as crap, seriously. Goody two shoes that accepts his new parents and never thinks of his former family. You would think knowing the future and who he was releated to would cause something, but nope, nothing.

As it is, my expectations were low to begin with, but I didn't expect a rehash of dxd with some SI that acts like a doll. Here is what I expect to happen:

-Issei gets his Sacred Gear and turns into devil.
-Asia dies or decides to become a devil, since you don't want to stray away from the canon.
-Being all hunky doory with devils, despite the Evil Pieces being a system that lets them force someone into servitude or go stray.
-Your characters gets some girls that Issei didn't get, since you don't want to steal his 'waifus'

Perhaps I am wrong. However, considering the quality of most dxd crossovers/fanfictions I am not going to get my hopes up.

I really liked the story, the criticisms that little interaction Gabriel can make and I also felt that I did not interact little with Irina compared to the others. that you forgot about murayama
a character that seems to me a good idea to join the team would be Lint Sellzen

Suggestion for the rewrite, could we have Sakuya make a contract with a Dragon or something? Considering the fact that he can use Clarent which could mean that he has some form of claim to the Throne and the fact it's DxD. Man, he can use Ea/Enuma Elish even if it's a weaker version of it ya' know? Sure it might not be a Anti-World phantasm but at least in the DxD world it would mean a lot for Sakuya to at least get a powerful sword for it plus it's in the name of his Sacred Gear which has the word "Blacksmith" on it ya' know.

Though it'll be great if it has some disadvantages when using it or anything powerful like that, like a lot of magical energy needs and if he doesn't have enough he'll go in a coma for a week or so. I am sure he can recreate Excalibur(both DxD/Fate) with the Fragments his Sacred Gear has a lot of potential and uses alongside with his magics he's practically Gilgamesh reincarnate. It'll be even better if he is a descendant like Jeanne is.

Meh, if I were him I would've rampaged through those Fallen Angels. I don't care if it causes trouble, there's no way in hell I am letting those bastards touch my family, that's why there's a saying "Don't touch a Dragon's reverse scale".

Mate, you should know that there's nothing saying that a "Fake" can't surpass the "Original". You should learn from your senpai, Emiya Shirou ya kno'

Petition to give sakuya a sage mode

Well, I'll be diving head-first into this with some hope of an exciting story. I'm praying that you'll allow your OC to escape devil hood. I've never liked their system of servants, or what they do to us humans. I'd like to see him join the Angels if you still plan on having Issei join the Devils. In any case, here's to hoping~! :)