Man this chapter was so good. It was so raw but important. High on my list of favorites.

Very nicely done. This is SUCH a fraught conversation, and they both have tempers flare, and pain surface, and lash out and back off...just really nice work.

Love it, the end words are so needed to be said between them. Still waiting a season later. Great fic. Beautifully written. Have a great week.

Another great story of yours! I'm so glad I found out about your writing! This one is even better than the last I've read. I must admit I had been a little bit shocked when Olivia did say to Amanda she didn't know what utter terror was. I really loved the episode because both Liv and Amanda were amazing, but it's no wonder Amanda never felt safe talking about some personal stuff with Liv, even though they grew to become friends. And this story just made perfect sense and felt like the missing piece I didn't even know I was hoping for.

thank you so much for that

Wish you would write something similar to this maybe the other way around where it’s Rollins who comforts benson because this is just so amazing I want more the comfort I get from this is unreal thank you

Glad to read you again because you are a very good and talented writer! This story was perfect and very credible in the Olivia / Amanda's relationship, between confessions of sweetness and embarrassment between both.

I read your story yesterday and as someone who rarely comments I had intended to for this one. For two main reasons: 1) Your writing here is just brilliant and well executed. For you and a few other authors on here whose works I really respect I really do find myself thinking I hope your writing takes you far. I read stories on here that I can't believe I get to enjoy for free and with the added bonus of catharsis when I project the themes and sentiments on to my own life. I don't know if you're new to this platform but I am new to your work and so far have been Aing you. I too hope you continue with more Rolivia fics 2) Often times I will watch something on the show that strikes me as odd or downright upsets me on a hard to shake-off level. When I come on here and an author addresses it and resolves it with better aptitude than the clumsy manner it held on the show the feeling is redemptive. I can't describe how many times I will just pause my reading to just soak that in. And at the risk of sounding corny I feel seen and I feel understood.
This piece was just excellent and I am grateful for a number of points you brought reflection to. E.g., her feelings post-delivery and drawing to another possibility that it was probably more painful for her, physically and emotionally, than portrayed in the clip. Honestly the whole storyline of B's birth felt off to me and not because I feel they should have done the cliche tv dangerous birth. They could have done simple and pleasant but at least made the timeline believable. Rollins got pregnant in July meaning she would have been 6 months pregnant when she gave birth- never even made it to her 3rd trimester. How was everyone so nonchalant about her going into labour so early I can't understand. And that she was able to deliver a healthy baby that is not in risk of death, doesn't need anytime in a NICU, is an anomaly and a huge one at that. So even to hear some discussion of what she might have been feeling post-birth, counter to what was portrayed, feels very welcomed to me. It deepens the level of honesty to the story and allows me to enter into it more.

Now for this terror remark. I can never fully convey how helpful it is when you and other authors address it in your stories. I was really put off by this and I loved the episode. I can only hope that Part 33 doesn't end up like Forgiving Rollins ended up for years- like it happened in a bubble and had no real impact on future episodes. I hope this exchange gets a follow-up. Let's not even get into all the scenarios where Rollins has faced terror on the show including almost dying in childbirth with her 1st baby - just the worry before things got off the rails with her delivery must have been terrifying for her and utterly so. She didn't know if they would SVU stories (pre Warren Leight) focused more heavily on 'out-there' stories and scenes that were more graphic. Then they seemed to realize that the more 'ordinary', more common stories of sexual assault were just as important and could be just as damaging.

I loved the way you addressed it here as it didn't at all minimize Rollins' experience and at the same time it didn't vilify Liv for saying it. It clarified that her comment was unfair and untrue while at the same time explaining the brokenness that would have clouded her judgement. Bravo! Rollins' need to backtrack and apologize to Liv in your story is true to xter. I remember an episode where she was downplaying the demands of her life because it didn't involve her child being kidnapped like Olivia had gone through. But isn't that part of a bigger narrative of society that requires people to downplay their own trauma against those with outlier experiences as if these unique events disqualify their own turmoil and terror that is both utterly terrifying yet 'ordinary'?

The distress of these characters is all fiction but the inspiration that is used to develop them is certainly not. And this is where the fallout from this whole terror debate concerns me more. Real people go through both these types of experiences but a lot less go through the kidnapped by a maniac, massive manhunt to find them type-scenario and the suggestion that the 'everyday' experience of rape is one where they don't go through as much can itself become another assault, another trauma. It's the test as kids of liquid in a tall narrow container and liquid in a short much wider container. Small kids will say there's more in the tall one but they actually contain the same volume. Some people's experiences are more spread out over time than other more epic stories like Liv's but the trauma is just as much. They may even find it harder in some sense because there isn't the same level of outreach. To use Rolivia as an ex, everyone can understand the torment of being kidnapped (confined by) an obvious maniac. And make no mistake - everyone that has been raped has experienced confinement. But what happens when it's someone people are impressed by and regard as an authority figure? The response is to redistribute the roles and make the villain the victim and vice versa. This is its own brand of torture for the the person who was assaulted. Olivia for survival had to maintain a certain level of aggression and wit towards her attacker but what happens when you have to play nice with your attacker and go along with others positive views of him. Why don't they just do something about it and tell someone? Because they feel trapped. A different expression of entrapment than say literally being held in a house but torture nevertheless. Same volume of terror but just distributed differently. And this makes me think of differences in disabilities. The awareness of someone who is blind or has no legs is constant and you will never expect them to do something that requires sight or walking but something like lupus or epilepsy isn't evident at all times. It's easy to forget their limitations and sometimes demand they do things that they really cannot do. For Liv she will always be understood as someone who went through pure terror. Her limitations, any unhealthy decisions can always be easily explained in this way. For Amanda her "pure terror" isn't as easily recognized even by a compassionate veteran svu detective live Liv. Her unhealthy decisions aren't as quickly paired to past traumas and so absolution doesn't come as fast as it might to someone like Olivia. It doesn't make one experience worse than the other. But it does impact outreach and support.

And again to the point of the manhunt to find her. There are stories like that from time to time that plaster the news and with very good reason. But what of the person whose "pure terror" seems too mundane to matter? They remain lost. Years since being attacked and having been snatched from the life they were living and it as though no one knows they are missing. They remain lost and waiting to be rescued.

Thank you for your insightful writing. And thanks to all the other writers who do the same. You all work so hard on these and then I get to just curl up and enjoy :) and because of your storytelling we get to explore these issues in a far more immersive experience than this long-winded reply I am making. Thank you for pieces of work that explain the turmoil of those whose utter terror isn't black and white but is more nuanced. Please continue with the great work!

nice story, keep it up ! I hope you will again do more of story rolivia ! I love, bravo

I LOVE THIS! xxx

Please don't let the nasty comments discourage you! I think you did a wonderful job with this story, and both Liv and Amanda were very in character. I hope you will consider writing more fics for Rolivia. Yours are some of the best hurt/comfort stories I've seen on this site! I love how they were so supportive of each other through their pain. It was so beautiful to read. You are very talented.

Wow, this is a really intense story! I'm a sucker for good dialog and you definitely have a talent for writing it. I love how you managed to capture the many layers of their relationship - especially Amanda's complicated feelings of admiration, love and wanting Liv's approval and then also resentment because of what she said to her in the courthouse, coupled with her own feeling of worthlessness. And I also loved how utterly shocked and ashamed Liv was when she realized how much her comment has hurt Amanda. The way she comforted her during her breakdown was really touching, and I feel like you did a great job at bringing it all full circle with your last line. Great job!

Thank you so much for another amazing story! It was so great to wake up to your fic notification in my email! You are such a good writer and I hope you'll continue to post more Rolivia stories. I love the deep emotion that both Liv and Amanda showed, and how each was able to comfort the other despite struggling with their own demons. I'm so glad Olivia decided to go to Amanda's place to talk to her, and I wish the show had taken this same route. I feel like there was so much more that needed to be said between them. And I just love the way it ended! Fabulous work! :)

Oh, that was so sweet. It's such a nice story. Thank you, Jellie789! Please keep up the good work! I really look forward to your new fics.