Reviews for Violet Peverell's adventures in time
clsmith293 chapter 3 . 5/13
Love the concept! The accent is a little overdone for me, but I imagine writing accents is NOT the easiest aspect of writing. :P

I did find this awesome article on the topic tho! Got curious about some of the techniques for using accents in character dialogue.
penultimateword fiction /dialect-in-dialogue-how-to-write-authentic-dialect-and-foreign-accents/
musicluver246 chapter 4 . 4/21
Great story so far.
Padfootette chapter 4 . 4/20
Loved it please update soon
Dark Neko 4000 chapter 4 . 4/19
What will happen next time
candinaru25 chapter 4 . 4/19
oh i can't wait for their relationship to blossom. And i can tell these kids along with Credence will have a much better upbringing with these two as their parents
son of morgana chapter 3 . 4/19
love it
Krxso chapter 3 . 3/1
Sounds interesting but the accent is unnerving. (not saying that because I'm French huh)
Wika0304 chapter 3 . 10/28/2019
please update, it starts interesting
thescriptwelder chapter 1 . 5/31/2019
I'm sorry, I just can't. I like the premise.
In my opinion, these chapters are too small. You have three chapters, but little over 1500 words, which isn't very much, in my opinion. Most one-shots are around that many words long.
Also, their accents are just too much for me. Way too much. It's somewhat jarring. Please, drop the written accent. If you really need to, just note that they have an accent.
This first chapter is way to short and in my face. You don't show us the decision to go into the past. Why not just move to, oh, I dunno, Canada or something? Quebec, you can speak French and everything.
There wasn't any build up. Somehow Teddy knows. Why does he know? Presumably, he's a small child. There's no scene of Violet explaining what's happening to Teddy and why, which is a good opportunity to explain to us, your readers. Just a vague "for our safety". And, I get it if you wanted to reveal the details later on...but that seems quite unnecessary.
Also, another thing that just bugs me is that, no matter what, when you write dialogue, every time someone different speaks. For instance:
"Mama?" called Teddy.
"Oui, cub?" Violet said.
"Will we go to ze past today?" Teddy asked.
"Oui, for safety." Violet murmured.
There's also a small grammatical error in that scene I picked from the story.
When Violet says "Oui, for safety" there should be a comma before the last quotation mark. Example:
"Oui, for safety," Violet murmured.
Also, for future reference, you only put a comma there when a character is speaking, as in said, asked, called, remarked, etc... And you put a period there when the character is doing an action while speaking, but unrelated to speaking. For instance:
"This is your fault." Jack crossed his arms.
One more thing. Because of the lack of explanation you gave us, the actions of wizards following Violet and Teddy's 'deaths' seems ludicrous, in my opinion. The way you wrote it makes it seem like the wizards thought they were good people, a complete 180 from what they thought moments before. Despite the fact that there was no evidence of that. Then again, Harry Potter wizards make no sense.
Padfootette chapter 3 . 5/1/2019
Loved it can’t wait for more please update soon
SupergodzillaSailorCosmos chapter 3 . 5/1/2019
It goes on.
Now the poor girl is safe.
Let's see how Newt and Teddy react.

Please continue writing quickly.

With kind regards SupergodzillaSailorCosmos
BleckBlah5956 chapter 2 . 4/19/2019
I like this idea so far, please update soon as you can
Nataly SkyPot chapter 2 . 4/19/2019
Muy bueno.
Rainy Ravenclaw chapter 2 . 3/29/2019
Hi! I really enjoy this story of yours. However, I do have one little request. Can you please drop the written accent when Violet speaks...?" It's kind of jarring and I do remember she lived in the UK for like 6 years as a child, at least, so don't think her accent would be quite that thick anyway. It would just be helpful to note any accent and the interpretations others have of it the first time they hear her speak. I love that she has Teddy with her, that's important.
SupergodzillaSailorCosmos chapter 2 . 3/28/2019
It goes on.
Now both are in 1926 and meet Newt. I'm very curious how they get together. Happy if you can help credence and the girl. I mean dead at the age of 8, that's just cruel.
Since both have it better with Newt, Violet, Teddy and the little animals.
But I'm curious to see what Newts Familei and the Potter of all that hold. And since Violet knows the story, she can, for example, catch the basilisk with Newt and thus save Hegrid and myrtle. Or even Voldi. And what will Grindelwald think of Violet first?

Please continue writing quickly. I have to know how it goes.

With kind regards SupergodzillaSailorCosmos
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