Hi Arby! I got directed to your story when asking for recommendations for Pokemon stories set in modern-style societies. For something with so much effort put in as this, it hasn't gotten the attention it deserves, so here's hoping I can somewhat rectify that.

I'll start with the positives, of which there are plenty. This is very, very well-written. And more than that, it's well thought-out. The world seems much like our own, but with subtle touches of Pokemon influence here and there - mainly regarding the psychic manipluation possibilities of crimes. At times I wonder if it was perhaps a little too close to human society - bowling seems quite a strange game for Pokemon, don't you think? But on the whole - it's solid.

The plot of it was good and clever - I completely forgot about Mayra's necklace, even though I thought it a strange thing to include at the time of reading. Classic Chekhov's Gun at work. I guess... it would have been nice to understand Galen's motives a bit more, since presumably before stealing this extremely valuable diamond he was a long-serving, trustworthy judge? I also found the reveal that Mayra had kind of already solved the case, but had been under the memento's spell the rest of time, a little bit convoluted to explain. And I can't help raising my eyebrows at Mayra and Alton deciding, at first, that Galen's hypnosis of her was nothing to worry about - shouldn't it ALWAYS be something to worry about, even if it's being done by a respectable figure, and especially if it's done without warning?

Though I will maintain that the quality of writing is very good, some sentences or scenes did feel a bit longer than necessary. Some of the interactions between Mayra, Alton and Kelly for example. If this trio will be around for more chapters (if there are going to be more), then the slower pace you've got to their conversations would make more sense. But I don't know if they will.

Overall though, I enjoyed the read. Good stuff! :)

(Full review, as my previous attempt failed for unknown reasons)

Now that you've finished your main PMD story, I was curious what you'd be up to in your creative endeavours. Writing a story in the format of Eon Fable, though following a single character, is certainly a good experiment. I'm curious to see how it will turn out. You have no doubt in my mind that you have the skills to make it work.

Regardless of how minor it is, I appreciated the little detail where you name each month after a type, e.g. "Ignus" and "Volantis". I'm a bit of a world building addict, and I always. Reminds me of the Napoleonic calendar, especially the month of Thermidor (similar theme, to do with heat and fire).

The first scene with the Wingull was a textbook definition of character-setting. The scene serves no apparent purpose to the plot of the chapter; however, as this is the first glimpse we get of Mayra, it establishes important character traits beyond what she told the audience in the introductory paragraphs. That's what made me smile and nod in approval while reading it, and it's brief enough to where it ends once the scene's purpose has been fulfilled.

Mayra feels like a living, nuanced protagonist. Her mindset and thought process are incredibly well described, especially seeing how relatively short the chapter was. I was a bit skeptical at first when you mentioned to me that one of her characteristics was her promiscuousness. Now that I've read the story, however, I think it fits her perfectly. She's a workaholic judge with an important position and an unfortunately straight moral compass. It's only natural that she'd be begging to distract her mind in some other way—alcohol, sex, walking ridiculously long distances. Not only is this trait a convenient plot device, but Mayra would be a less complete character without it. Great job. I suppose the only reason it still feels somewhat weird is because, uh ... that's my ex's name. And it's a really uncommon name around here, so it's hard for me to associate it with anyone else. Oh, well, ahahah!

Charmeleon, eh? I see she is a cultured 'mon. I paused briefly at the name "Carmen", though. A Google search seems to indicate that Romance countries use it exclusively as a female name, while English views it as unisex. Good thing he's not an important character, or that detail probably would have been annoying.

As far as the other characters go, they were all excellently characterised. Alton is a total bro, and he and Mayra are totally fucking one of these chapters. Don't think I didn't notice your law-related puns and expressions whenever he spoke. Disgusting.

Plot-wise, I was kept pleasantly surprised from beginning to end. I wasn't expecting you-know-who to be the culprit, nor the overall greater scheme-though once you mentioned the memento I did guess that it would either be her necklace and/or the symbol behind the judges (which I believe is the same?). That, too, caught me by surprise, since it ended up being one for Mayra herself rather than for Zeno. Surpriseception.

On that note, I also quite enjoyed the little twists you threw the story, both large and small. An example of the latter is found within the small tangent about the Diamond Swellow—going on and on about how tightly guarded it was and how it was impossible that a thief could get away with it, only to remind the reader that the thief has in fact been caught. Which in hindsight was obvious, given that they were just talking of a trial.

Side note: I'm slightly disappointed that you decided to keep cash bail in your story's judicial system. I understand that you're American and that it sounds more familiar to you, but I can't help but think that it's (in my opinion) a deeply flawed system that is only in use in the US and the Philippines (in most other countries bail is a rarity, if it exists at all).

I didn't have the same issue with capital punishment; regardless of my personal views, it can absolutely make sense in your story's society. While you haven't had enough time to explore its culture and history in depth, I suspended my disbelief without trouble.

If I had to point out any flaws, I supposed that every now and again you did give a bit more detail than really necessary. I wondered whether it was truly necessary to know that the tea she sipped cost two dollars (human currency? Tsk tsk), or how ornate her cup was. Another example was the paragraph around when she first enters the courtroom, the one enclosed entirely in parentheses. While it was interesting to learn about the regulation surrounding psychic judges, it broke up the pacing somewhat and wasn't really ... essential. You did that again with Carmen later on, and while the detail was still worth mentioning, you probably could have done so while omitting the parentheses. That's a matter of style, though, so I will respect your choice if you'd rather keep using them.

Another thing was the question Mayra asked the Sylveon about which shoulder the Gengar had his bag slung on. Really? That's SUCH a specific question! While not completely ridiculous, it's a detail so minuscule that I doubt I'd be able to remember with certainty in Lydia's shoes. Especially at a distance, and from the elevated position she was in. I feel as though Mayra could have used another example, one that a witness could more reasonably recall to prove her point.

In the end, though, I'd say this was an expertly-written law drama that achieved everything it set out to do. The world it's set in feels unique and vibrant, from the custom months, to the houses sporting cupolas, to the symbol of justice being Virizon. You write vivid descriptions of characters and the settings without being verbose. It wasn't too complicated plot-wise, but it didn't need to be. Amazing job. I'm intrigued to see where you take this. You probably already know it, but pokémon/type-specific abilities are key to making the law drama formula work in this fandom. You managed that here with dreamcatching, and I can't wait to see what you come up with.

As far as the plot of the chapter is concerned, I was kept pleasantly surprised from beginning to end. I wasn't expecting you-know-who to be the culprit, nor the overall greater scheme-though once you mentioned the memento I did guess that it would either be her necklace and/or the symbol behind the judges (which I believe is the same?). That, too, caught me by surprise, since it ended up being one for Mayra herself rather than for Zeno. Surpriseception. First time I've had that happen.

Amazing Chapter! Already like Mayra and Alton as well as Kelly. Keep up the work with this as it had me reading by the edge of my seat. The dream catching and all the other psychic stuff gave a bit more is like reading a crime television show, you pulled it off great! Nice bit of chess at the end.
Music for you:
Initial D STOP YOUR SELF CONTROL
Killer 7 - Soundtrack 09 Russian Roulette
Killer 7 - Soundtrack 27 Sweet Blue Flag
Opening - Pokémon Diamond & Pearl

Have a wonderful day! Keep up the wonderful Work!

Wow, Im actually astonished of how good this was. To the rich details of this world or to the your characters personalities. Alton is such a charmer, Kelly is such a sweet Lilligant, and last of all Mayra.

You kind of do need to read the other story though.

Hey, welcome. So look a warning given you are writing a Pokemon story. Farla, St Elmo's Fire, Talarc, Spencer841, and a few others are known bullies on this site who review only to destroy stories and promote drama.

They will push their believes down your throat, demand you redo your story to fit their wants and no, they are the super minority and hated by the fandom. They also tend to post pms publicly so responding to them is ill advised.

They start off with a disclaimer about honestly thinking it would help. It doesn't they want you to be screwed over as they complain about trival nonsense that got their panties in a twist.

They think Pokemon is slavery. That you should capitalize the way they want. Oh, and they give out false dialogue formatting. Don't get me started on Arceus.

Oh and if they say that they are being bullied. Know that they are lying as they been doing it too this fandom for years now and are just pissed that a group are working to stop it. The admins told them to knock it off.

If that's not enough on my profile is proof its utter nonsense. oh and if there is a guest reviewer titled "Take Down Hybrid" know that is's actually Unique Yet Sensible the biggest of all of Farla's supporters and an utter troll who only doing this shit because Hybrid gave her criticism. The girls gone off the deep end and into complete insanity.

Best to remove it.

Speaking of them they had twice agreed to stop but don't. Even after being told to stop by the admins, their friends, and even random strangers. Right now they are somehow convinced that Hybrid, a woman, is a man.

If they claim they have proof don't. Its all utter nonsense and they been told by the admins to take it down.

Furthermore, if some goes on about us spaming accounts or something know its likely juat another troll so block them