So overall this is an interesting concept. however, there are a few areas that need serious editing. the first is jons behavior. you wrote a different upbringing, a life that was different to the canon one in every single way except a name. every moment of every day was different than the one that produced the self hating bastard that was desperate to get away from catelyn stark and ghe family he could never truly be a part of. This jon has been fighting, winning, leading, he's been accepted even welcomed constantly as an equal qmong comrades before he had command. and after he had command he has had nothing but repect since the last contestors were dealt with. ao where the hell did the sulky little self hating bastard persona come from?
Next, you're writing in a world made famous for it's dangerous nature. where a powerful person being alone is an easy target regardless of their ability to swing a sword. part of the asoiaf draw is that you are unsure of whether danger is coming, when, and whether your favorite characters are in mortal peril. you made it very clear when you have your main characters going around without any precautionary guards that they are protected by plot armor alone, and therefore undermined interest in any danger because the reader knows there isn't any danger. no guards means no problems because clearly plot armor has them covered when the guards aren't present.
Bottom line, you had an interesting premise in this story. Unfortunately, the execution needs serious revision.

newsflash, a commander who still gets scolded by his mommy sure as fuck isn't going to have his mens respect. and that's in 2020. in a medieval mercenary company? jon wouldn't be able keep himself in power when he's clearly a pussy of a mommas boy.
Massive hole in this story. Why the hell is jon still behaving like he spent his lifetime being constantly derided and excluded by catelyn stark? like septa mordane has been whispering how unwanted he is? like he has been an afterthought, an unwelcome guest that won't leave? why is he behaving and existing with a self image that he is nothing? you completely changed jons upbringing. his experiences. he had noone tearing him down in this life. he has had years of success and triumph and accomplishments and men cheering his name and following him into battle. you write him like he was raised being constantly reminded of his bastard status. nd why the fuck would arthur allow him to be regarded as a bastard? when noone even knew who the parents were, why not let jon think he had married parents? he could have been jon bronnson or jon cleary or any other random surname. and i would think arthur would be offended by the idea of letting rhaegars son think himself a bastard. but with all the hoops of illogic you jumped through i guess it's just another hole to be ignored.

the concept of this story was so promising, but the execution is utterly lacking. why the fuck wouldn't arthur have told jon way back when he was made commander? what possible reason would justify not telling him? and how am i supposed to believe that this mewling boychild is capable of commanding men in battle when a woman turns him into a blushing little girl? I'm supposed to believe he has the authoritative presence necessary to keep hardened killers-for-hire in line? that this bleating manchild that just wants to be a normal ickle kiddy has the sheer force of will necessary to lead troops into battle?
where is the hardened soldier? the blooded killer? the leader of men? the slayer of dothraki? where is this undefeated flame? where is the commander of the baddest merc company in essos? because not one single moment has your jon snow behaved in a manner commensurate with these seemingly incongrous titles. instead, it's like you want to write about a little high school boy and his first crush but with an awesome backstory that has in no way shaped his personality nor his maturity.

Are you fucking kidding me? "no means no" in fucking ASOIAF world? maybe in free lamds, but this is feudal medieval society. this is a time when spousal abuse didn't exist, not because a man beating his wife didn't happen, but because a wife is beholden in every sense to her husband. the surest example comes from the kinsguard themselves talking about why they never stopped aerys the mad king from raping his queenwe are sworn to protect her, to slay all in this world that attempt to do her harm. all except him." I'm paraphrasing but the gist is that wives can say no to their husbands, but the husbands can ignore her thoughts on the matter. this is common culture of the societies depicted in Aasoiaf. the sort of thing that is ingrained in boys and girls from an early age. girls know it, boys know it. and it is seen as normal. We here in 2020 may and very well should look at it as repulsive behavior. However, we have several hundred years of cultural shift in social mores and decades of firm progress in understanding gender equality. Asher and Jon don't have that. the little rape speech you inserted is categorically and catastrophically authorial virtue signaling to make your characters SJW approved. exhibited by the fact that jon didn't coerce or rape her, told asher he couldn't lay with her, and asher for no apparent reason magically decided to lecture jon on how rapeing is bad. on what planet was that conversation believable? and then you made it worse by having asher nullify all of it with 'it was a joke' bullshit. you could pluck the entirety of their conversation on the subject out of the story and lose absolutely nothing. and if it can be removed without damaging the story, why was it there in the first place.
Furthermore, men don't blush. blushing implies shy feminine or childish bashful embarrassment. I find the idea that the main character is a blooded warrior, a man that has hacked other himan beings into pieces, and is still such a child that he blushes like a little schoolgirl. you can't swing between him being mature and being a child. it's inconsistent and undermines the character. Ever met a combat soldier? someone that killed people close enough to watch them die? I promise you, if jon has killed multiple people, he's not going to turn into goo over a pretty woman. he might be nervous, cautious because he doesn't want to mess up, but an utterly awkward mess? seems suspect.
I don't think black people are regarded as lesser in Martins world. I'm still working on the books, but nowhere i remember was someone being black a sign of lesser humans. which means you kust spontaneously inserted racism against blacks into your story. i believe the slave trade in essos is equal opportunity horror. it's not a racial thing. look at jorah, he was captured and sold as a slave. white skin didn't stop brown skinned slavers from selling him.
Another thing: why would the commander of the golden company by allowed to just wander off without any guards with an 80000 man army within spitting distance? why would jon be stupid enough to just wander off without guards when anyone might think slipping a knife between his ribs for some old fight might have the perfect chance when he's only got one companion? the answer is either jon is outright stupid not to know that he's a juicy target, or he knows he has plot armor to ensure nothing does him permanent harm so he can wander off qnd everybody thinks 'he can take care of himself'. oh, like eddard stark? like neds dad and brandon stark? like robb at his own wedding? like the mouse and cheese debacle? like rhaegar on the trident? or oberyn martell facing the mountain? how the fuck in this world is your main character so badly raised that he is stupid enough to think himself invulnerable.

Please continue great writing so far. I love Asher, Jon's personality is different not sure if I like it but the story is great.

absolutely amazing please continue this fanfic!

Oh... What do we have here? Another dead author splendid, just fucking awesome. If you start something make sure you can finish, and don't fuck off in the middle of it, not middle my mistake, you deserted in the beginning. You should be ashamed author!

Love your story! Please up date soon!

Great story. Please update soon.

please update

Love love love! Please update

This is a well-written story even though your paragraphs are a bit large and need to be broken up. It's a great concept and you seem to have a good grasp of characterization.

But, the whole point of Arthur taking Jon to Essos was that he wouldn't be raised as a bastard. You literally gave that as the reason Arthur gave Ned as to why Ned couldn't take Jon. Instead of a strong, smart, confident Jon we have the same mopey, brooding Jon from the books and show. It doesn't make any sense at all that he wasn't told who he really was and what his destiny was. Frankly, the whole part about "all that's left is to be involved in a prophecy" thing is just the icing on the cake.

An opportunity wasted to create a great story. I guess that's why it's abandoned. You are a good writer with a good grasp of story and dialogue. This could've been great. Good luck in the future, but this is where I bow out.

So the whole point of Arthur taking Jon to Essos was to raise him to become king and then doesn't tell him who he really is or raise him to be a ruler? Doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

It's a great concept and a really great start to a story. It's well written and really is starting down a great path but I do not understand why Jon doesn't know that he's a Targaryen.

Such an awesome storyline , hope to see a new chapter soon..

I do tend to like these sorts of stories with alternate versions of the start of the series. God bless.