Your writing is pretty good tbh I don’t see any issues... please keep writing? I’m really curious as to where to the story is going to go :)

Finally they kissed!. At this point, Liaris Freeze is not dependant in Aiz only, so He vould develop a relationship with other girl without losing it

Good to see you updated. Not that it will sate your concerns, but I don't really see a quality-drop, to be honest. Excited to see the conclusion.

This Aisha girl is a terrible, terrible person. She is as good as threatening to force Haruhime to be raped...Sex against someones will is rape...

bell is kind of an Ass :/

Man, I don't know what it is about the type of writing, perhaps the long paragraphs or something but everything just blends together for me when I'm reading your stories. Not to say they aren't good, I just have trouble reading them with such a large amount of text being used in one situation. It's good and obviously much more descriptive and writer-like than my work but I have a hard time appreciating it for some reason.

Damn. That's devotion. Get some sleep, bro, as this is goin' swell so far!

This is a fantastic first chapter I can't stop laughing at poor Haruhime

I don't usually read smut... but damn, this isn't just rampant mindless sex; this is logically devized and well thought-out. Great job, I'm looking forward to more!

By the way, is this a one-shot (It's not stated as completed at the time of writing) because I can see this turning into a decent story.

No offence, but I think there's a reason the story is taking off so slow. Well, two reasons.
1. Haruhime is a character not yet introduced in the anime or manga so those fans have no idea what's happening.
2. Haruhime is a fairly unpopular character in the ship list, well, unpopular as compared to Aiz, Ryuu, Hestia or Lili.
It's not that the writing is not good, it's just that not a lot of people care about Haruhime.