If Elowen sent her brother a one letter text, then it couldn't have been "vampire," seeing as that's 7 letters. I think you meant one word, not letter.

I find it pretty strange the way you had Elowen decide to intercept Stefan before he could collide with Elena outside of the bathroom. How does she even see that before it happens without a vision? Cuz it happened really fast as soon as Elena walked out the door, so how did she somehow squeeze between them fast enough to intercept? And why does she even care to get in the middle of it? How does she even know there's something to get in the middle of, and that it's not a random occurrence, since it kinda was? Stefan immediately asking about Elena was also weird, and I don't think he would have actually done that. I think he would have waited to speak to Elena on his own rather than ask some random girl in the halls about her. If he would decide to bring Elena up, then the best way to do that would have been to remark on their similarity in appearance. That would have been a good opener. The fact that Elowen and Elena look like twins never comes up at all in this entire chapter. Not even a passing thought about it, or a comment. What's up with that?

I also find it a bit weird that Elowen has this whole commentary going on in her head about how she and Elena aren't really friends just upon seeing her in the hallway, and the whole thing about not mentioning the parents. Bonnie's her actual friend, so it would have made more sense for there to be thoughts on her friend, with maybe an afterthought thrown in about Elena. Maybe a passing thought about the weirdness of how much they look alike? Not even. Elena is the main character in the show, so I understand why you would think to have Elowen think about her to establish the relationship with the main character, but it doesn't flow. If they aren't friends, then there should be absolutely no reason for Elowen to even spare Elena more than a passing thought, not have a whole paragraph dedicated to thinking about her. That would do a lot more to establish their relationship than outright explaining it in Elowen's thoughts in such an unnatural way. And why wouldn't they be friends? Elowen would easily be pretty enough to join the cheer squad if that's her thing, or at least they would have been drawn together initially due to how much they look alike. Caroline would have jumped all over that, and if Elowen was hanging with Bonnie, chances are she and Elena would become friends somewhat more than what you described. It would set the story up to work better for future supernatural things if Elowen is already in the gang. Either that, or she shouldn't be friends with any of them apart from going to the same school.

Is it just random how Elena and Elowen have somewhat similar names on top of looking alike? Cuz I find that just a bit much. Looking alike is one thing, but the names are so similar that it just raises red flags. There's also the fact that both their names start with "El," and they both have younger brothers who have names starting with a "J." I think you could have been a bit more creative, although I guess it could just be overlooked. It's like... why? I don't get it.

Next, it makes literally no sense at all why Stefan runs to catch up with Elowen after school and walks to her house with her and Josiah. Why is he even talking to her? The only reason he's in Mystic Falls and attending high school is for Elena. He spent the summer basically stalking Elena to make sure she wasn't Katherine, and then couldn't stay away. He just had to get to know her. He only showed interest in school activities and other students for Elena's sake. Getting to know Elena's friends and joining football were all because Elena encouraged him and because it made her happy, which Stefan wanted. So why the hell would this century and a half old vampire want to make friends with a seemingly ordinary human girl, especially when it could send the wrong message to Elena that he's interested in Elowen and not her? And why is Elowen even acting all friendly after having a horrible nightmare about a vampire murdering two people, along with her mother warning her about the potential danger? Good feelings or not from her powers, none of this makes any sense at all. And then she just invites him in and her mother is all okay with it because she had a visions that basically told them nothing. Like why the hell is this vampire pretending to be human and attending high school? Why is he cozying up to the witches and seemingly nobody else? Why is he cozying up to them before even knowing they were witches? Why is he walking home with them for no actual reason? Why is he even in town? What dangers has he brought with him?

This needs a lot of work, I think. I don't have a clue where this story is going, and I see that you have a lot of potential as a writer. However, all these things jumping out at me from the first chapter alone that make no sense deters me from continuing. If you ever rewrite this, I'll be glad to check it out. Best of luck, and I hope my comments help.

Love how it's different from canon but still the same at the same time.

LOVE IT!

Great story

o please please please let them all get along and live happily ever after as a threesome couple!

For once Katherine did something right, hopefully the toe rag is dead. I also pray this Caroline stays human atleast be the one to become a medium as opposed to Jeremy because his already destined to be a hunter. Caroline is such a cool chick and is finally found herself away from Elena a detail i doubt katherine is missing. Hopefully she turns Jenna instead just to see how her involvement in the supernatural world early would look like

I was firmly Stefan/Elowen before but now I am feeling her and Damon more...

I love Damon soo much with elowen

love it 1

I LOVE THIS! I SHIP DAMON AND ELOWEN SO MUCH

God I love Damon and Elowen

Whoops I’m an idiot and didn’t finish the chapter before finishing ahhaha

Hi just to let you know that the witches spells are in latin, not Spanish. I’m guessing that maybe elemental witches cast in Spanish instead? But I just wanted to say.

love it!

I wonder if elle is replacing elena in canon when it comes to the brother's i hope they either all become apart of the relationship or it stays platonic with damon or stephen dies very early on. I'm very tired of the triangles to be honest.
I adore this unique take on the show, elowen is a very intriguing character i like her character development, i hope though she does focus more on herself and her own wants in life.
I think she is very mature and independent to be so weak like elena, if stephen is determined to lie and keep secrets i don't see her going with the flow. Maybe they need a break form each other because they both have issues to deal with.
Her father is definitely going to become an issue and i wonder how that will work out? Would he want to kill his wife and kids too because of their abilities ...remember the council in the past burned witches, would they loose their mother because of bonnie lying about the device being deactivated.
I feel something bad is going to happen and this time it won't be caroline that gets turned atleast not by Katherine.