I like how you capture my attention through the captivating characters. I was left wanting more.

I've been reading your works all day and I'm literally in love.

This was so good. Like, so so good. Thank you for sharing!

I loved the second person perspective on this. Not something you see for fics like this. Their always character x reader fics. Great job 3

I love your writing so much. The way you write Bella is so great. I wish more people wrote like you. This is so good.

Maybe you should stick to short stories girl cos at least then you (mostly) have a damn ending. If you can't finish a fic don't start it and promise a sequel that never appears.

oh god... this killed me

this was so beautifully written and executed and just oh my god im in love

just awesome

This is so cute.

This is beautiful.

You’re the best writer, and I cherish every word.

The worlds you create feel like a balm to my broken heart and for just one moment make me feel hope and romance and love.

You’re wonderful, and thank you for such a perfect Bellice, to join the other perfect stories you gift us with.

This was extraordinary.

Long may Bellice continue and you continue to share your precious gift and heart with us.

xXx

** DEAR POTENTIAL READERS: Read this. Do yourself a favor and indulge in some fucking adorable, yet interesting and LAYERED Balice oneshot. It’s a ride, and a fluffy, gay, angsty, funny one at that. This review is so long I’m pretty sure will cut it off. So just know, read this. Dear god, read! **

Dude. My dude. I cannot believe you dedicated this masterpiece to me. I literally read that and screamed at my poor, non-fic reading partner about how fucking amazing that is. Like, one of my top five authors of all-time fucking called me out and shit. Panicked and then absolutely devoured this masterpiece, so just, wow. (Ps. sorry it took me so long to review, I was overseas and without my laptop). Thus, my re-read and review, I hope it’s up to snuff… and just wow. Thanks! I think I forgot to say that.

Characterization:

I mean, dude. You have this fuckin knack for picking up the intricacies of a person and conveying that to the audience. And, in terms of fic writing, where the cannon bleeds into things, you still manage to make the characters seem like living breathing people, linked to their original framework, while somehow more ALIVE, you know?

My personal favorite is always your characterization of Bella. While you deviate from the canon with her more than the others (thank fuck) and she is awesome even when (especially when) she is a fucking mess. This first attempt is just… just a gay panic. I have lived these moments. “Why are you like this?” - I wish I knew my friend. Only multiplied when she just… misses? Alice’s fucking blatant opportunity to “take a leap of faith”. I mean, I have been there (my girlfriend told me so) but READING it is so sooooo much funnier. And frustrating. But that is your fucking epic writing style at play so I love it really.

Then the birthday attempt. Which is just… a whole thing. Where you engage in Bella’s fucking angst and pain and how she is a touch more prickly then normal. And I just love that you make her prickly (Gus!) but still hopelessly soft for Alice, and wants to dress nice so she will look at you like that and god damnit. Layers in characters man, how do you do it? OH! I forgot you put Bella in glasses (and I may have a small thing for that? And you do it in a few of your fics? Is this maybe a shared thing?), thanks for that! And Bella punching Alice on the shoulder cause that’s what friends do is a small thing right? But it also shows a level of painfully awkward which gives insight into her character while also being amusing and adding to the story and just you are a GOD.

This is kinda Bella’s characterization, but also Charlie and a relationship dynamic point? One of the highlights writing-wise for me in this fic is when Carlisle gives her Renee’s card, from Charlie. The fact that he isn’t there, that it’s a shock Renee remembered, that she doesn’t want the Cullen’s to know she doesn’t care cause it would hurt them and that she just DOESN’T care is an entire dynamic wrapped up into a single moment. A fucking birthday card and absence… my dude. Way to write in a whole fucking analysis into a paragraph.

And Bella joking about how she will “just try to die slower” as she fucking dies was a thing. Like, I love me some dark humor Bella. Also, humor on deathbed Bella. I love your Bella’s. Don’t know if you noticed. “I’m a human shish kabob”, I mean REALLY?

One of my personal favorite character insights was when Bella admitted that she might have married Edward, even if she didn’t love him. Even though its Edward or nothing now as well, cause she cant go without the Cullens. Cause they are her future, family, and no matter the cost she would pay it. And then you go and reveal her sheild, and how that impacts her ability to deal and then you show how she behaves without it in place. That shift from dampened to ALIVE was just… thank you. I love me some happy Bella ending. She doesn’t get that enough. And this one deserved it, the poor hopeless gay.

And I can’t not mention your Alice here. Right from the beginning you grab onto her manic, yet adorable and put together character. The image of her spinning at the desk in the opening scene, even when she stops herself midspan and her “chaotic spikes bounce once”, I mean fuck man. Way to draw a character my man (which is particularly awesome, cause fics can have a tendency to either assume you know their looks or over-explain – this is enough to give you an idea what she would psychically look like while being non-exhaustive). And I mean, she smells like BUBBLEGUM? I mean, of course she does but come on.

I mean her just, giving Bella the room and opportunity to confess, and letting it go in favor of laughing AT her for the rest of the day is just such a good comment on Alice without fucking spelling it out. Pushy… but also a good person who understands limits and maybe things take time and you gotta just be a freaking Olympic Gold Skater and help your helpless human not break their nose. Like. I appreciate that she is a fucking glitter grenade, but she is also smart and kind and a vampire and things are more complicated sometimes and you convey those elements of her with grace. And then you go full vampire pheromones and shit at the birthday and remind me that THEY ARE VAMPIRES. So that was a rollercoaster, thank you!

Then. Then you had Alice SLAM into a tree, into BELLA. While she was bleeding to death. That was a whole illustration of her character in one chaotic, frantic move. And then begging Bella to not leave, and just my heart? Why do you crush it so? And Alice giving Bella room even when she is a vampire and has her own shit going on cause Bella is going through shit and then that fucking final scene, where you get that bubbly, BUBBLEGUM Alice and she tells her about her vision and my HEART.

Rosalies short cameo, but honestly, shoving Bella on the ice when she was grumpy and smirking about it the bitch was just… why I love Rosalie so much. So, thank you so much for that burst of warmth in my chest (I may be in Rosella withdraws atm, so sue me). PLUS her standing in defense of the human who is actively bleeding in a room full of vampires? Are you TRYING to kill me?

Edward, and his whole, “she deserves better” thing and still holding a place for Bella in his heart, while not being an ass about the whole being in love with his sister thing. I mean, its easy to just bash Edward (cause he can be a COMPLETE dolt), but I enjoyed this characterization. It was softer, and more brotherly and human. So double points, cause I love to hate him normally.

AND JASPER. My god. She promised Alice he would protect her, and hes all demanding and trying to save her life while she jokes about dying slower.

Structure:

Okay my dude (I might say this too much but meh, you seem to appreciate my style?), way to write an adorable one shot which gets the whole arch of a love story but remains something I can devour in my lunch break (or while I crouched behind the coffee machine like some hopeless gay goblin hoping no customers came in). I loved that the first time was something small and it kinda built from there, if you get me? Like, from studying to ice-skating, a birthday to fucking tragedy – I mean you built it beautifully. It really fit the whole climax of a story into a one-shot without overloading it. The stakes get higher and higher and the ride gets more exciting until I was on the edge of my seat fucking BEGGING Bella’s hopeless gay ass would spit it out already.

That first attempt was just so… normal. And high school. And I have definitely sat in a room with a girl and begged myself to say something even semi-coherent.

That ice-skating date was just so cute, yet in tune with their characters and relationship. A grumpy as fuck, uncoordinated, cannot-walk-on-perfectly-straight-and-stable-surfaces Bella would definitely fucking be there for ICE-SKATING if Alice Cullen asks. Even though she is downright useless and exceptionally pissed off the entire time as she “prattles” in her head about “the curve of her lips.” And Alice just shamelessly, blatantly providing the opportunity for Bella to confess, the useless gays. But then her lip is bleeding you and bring that adorable gay shit to a halt to deal with the vampire in the room and the lust (all kinds) and tension and REALITY of the situation. And Bella not biting her lip like she wants and fuck dude. Way to build tension. And a relationship dynamic. Alice is a vampire; grumpy gay shenanigans cannot be the entire relationship/story. But you do an excellent job of creating a balance.

The third attempt, and the “I have to tell you something,” cause promise is in her fucking eyes and then she steps away from Jasper and the world comes crashing down – my god. From adorable mush to heartbreak in a split motherfucking second my friend. Do you not care about my poor gay heart? And that you wrote in the papercut, while making it kinda strangely amusing AND dramatic? 12/10. And then the pheromones thing. I mean. That was a rush, the blood (cough) lust and electricity in the air crackling and the yanking of the collar of her shirt… I mean. I know you don’t write smut but I would definitely read it if you did. Cause my god, did you create tension in a room full of family members, so that is a feat. Also, I love the pheromones thing, awesome addition.

The fourth time. My friend. My dude. The best opening of the five. “Frankly, your running out of options, and if not your deathbed, then when do you proclaim your love for someone?” I mean, amusing AND dramatic. The best combo for an opener in my opinion. And the repeat of “I have to tell you something,” it just draws everything together without being repetitive or obvious and WHY do you hate my poor gay heart?

The fifth time, probably the most interesting? Which is saying something cause there was a vampire sucking Bella’s thumb and then a human shish kabab in previous parts, so you do an excellent job of escalating without being unrealistic. And this is where you get dialogue, and an insight into their dynamic, and how Bella can be charming, while also oblivious, and Alice can be insecure and wonder if Bella can see or hear her at all (I mean, the story is littered with Alice’s hints, so, fair).

The following commentary is more on your fantasy/story building and ability to just weave in elements and bring your stories into another dimension? I just love your interest in fantasy outside the canon (Species Unknown, top 10 fics of all time btw – just don’t know how to even begin to review that monster of a story), but this was an awesome way to just make things more interesting. Alice seeing the canon in back to back visions, what that revealed about Bella’s character, how you wrapped that back into how Alice also deserves better. Then you dropped that fucking bomb about the shield, how she can’t FEEL anything. “I think I’m broken,” urgh. Kill me now.

Cut to the last attempt and Bella tackling Alice and its just such a fucking ride to go from that previous angst and pain and EVERYTHING to this. I love it. I love you. Holy shit how do you do this?! And Bella has been trying to tell her something (I love the repeating language, seriously) for two years, and you get this tender, happy, ending, which left ME “a’flutter with feels” – and THIS was Alice’s second vision, and love is not a puzzle, it’s a symphonic fucking opera. Urgh. Thank you for this story my dude. Just. Yeah.

Some of my favorite lines:
“No, really. Actually. How? How do you say no to Alice Cullen?”
“…your chest constricts, your lungs won’t hold onto oxygen…”
“Holy shit, thank god she’s holding you because your knees? Fucking weak.”
“Your heart does that stupid thing where it doesn’t realize how bad it fucking hurts to beat so hard”
“Your whole life has led to tragedy, it’s always been there, waiting for you on the sidelines”
“The sun exploding in your chest”

And probably more, but like… you write too good my friend.

OH OH OH! AND YOU HAD ALICE CALL BELLA “GUS” IN THIS FIC AS WELL AND I LIVE FOR THAT SHIT MY DUDE CAUSE ITS FUCKING PERFECT! AND YOU CALLED ALICE “THE BANE!” AND MAMMA C!? ARGH, JUST SHOOT ME NOW.

And just… I have questions about that shield shit? Is it cutting her off from her emotions essentially? Cause that’s awesome and terrifying and does that mean anything about her ability to extend it!?

Anyway, I’m sure I missed some things, and there is probably a much more eloquent way of saying all of this. But I just couldn’t wait to respond one more day. You deserve a long reread kinda review, cause your writing is an inspiration, and reading your fics is just one of the highlights of my day. Thank you so much my dude. You rock. I appreciate what you do so, so much.

Holy mother of ever loving God, she finally said it!

beauty full

this was so beautiful I loved it thank you so much :')

My, what strange weather we're having! It seems to have spontaneously started pouring saltwater in here. Wow. Hoo-wee. Holy cow. Shit... I'm crying. Shit.