Nice work!

I liked the worldbuilding, particularly in Gary’s part. His speculation about the rebels was interesting. Him receiving the denial was pretty painful. Him noticing what was odd about the man was good and I liked the detail about the modded eyes.

Celeste being let into the Keep was very nicely done. I also liked her more active thoughts about the mysterious man.

I’d start a new paragraph whenever a different person starts speaking, as it makes dialogue easier to follow.