Ginny is a year bellow Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Daphne... Why in the hell is she in Hogsmed as a 2nd year? When the others are only just now in 3rd year the first year that is allowed to go to the village?

This is a big problem in my book because when Harry and company are 4th years, he has permission to go and does not need to seek in.

There wasn't anything I didn't like about this story. I really like the 'ship. Hope you find the motivation to finish this up. Thanks for sharing it.

I get it's for the plot but Ginny is a second year at this point, she wouldn't have been allowed to go to Hogsmeade yet.

I don't get the TWO Ron and Ginny confrontations above, both within seconds. Did you write both, and forget to erase one. Why tell them off and have them leave and then "I knew they would come running"? Then stun them? They were already gone.
It just reads really poorly, and if you HAD proofread it, there's no way you leave it as is.
If you meant they doubled back to attack Harry AFTER they had left then you have to WRITE THAT.
Maybe I just hate video games because I sucked at them forty years ago. Now I'm 55 and have no use for stupid seven tail foxes. Next your going to have Harry be a blue hedge hog?!
I'm going to skim through the end but pretty much quit here.

BTW... No one should EVER write fanfiction in first person tense, or narrator, whatever they call it now.

"What do you by magical signature?"

How do you forget to type a word in a sentence? And the VERB?! Mean.

"What do you mean..."
_
" I wonder if deer Salazar..."
Really?! Deer?! I have never once, in those 1000 fics read, seen deer used instead of dear.

Too nice to Dumbledick. Punch him in the nose and take his wand. Curse him with a balls rash, and the runs, permanently.

Yeah, I don't believe all that 'love' crap either. That's just the line Dumbledore gives young boys before he fondles them, then obliviates them. Ew!

In third year, Hermione hadn't learned of house elves' slavery, and therefore Harry doesn't KNOW anything about S.P.E.W.. You're mixing your books and assigning knowledge yet to be discovered.

Personally, the whole "full body patronus" thing is getting redundant. Even if you were using "corporeal", the right term, you don't have to say it every time. It has been established, now, that Harry CAN cast a REAL patronus. Call it Prongs, or whatever, as we all know the name, and don't have to be repetitive.

Oh, #$%&* hell!
'Flipendo' is from a gosh darned VIDEO game! It's not in any book (which is the ONLY canon to me), or any of the worthless, horrible movies. (which I do not accept as okay) Why in the Sam Hill would you use THAT spell?!

Aaand... Malfoy fired spells directly at another student IN tHE GREAT HALL, with like, 300 witnesses, and he wasn't punished for it.

Acid pops are a type of 'sucker' sold only at Honeydukes. They aren't going to be standard Hogwart's fare.

Wasn't Harry at the 'Leaky' for three weeks before the Weasleys got there? (true)

A pinky ring? Seriously. Are you one of the Soprano gangsters, or just gay.

Griphook was only a 'runner' or maybe a 'cart' goblin. Not an actual Teller, to sit at a desk and deal with customers (ie: take as much of their gold as possible, screwing them at every opportunity)

Legislation papers? That's so weird I don't even know what you meant.

Oh! And twelve million galleons? Try any math before using THAT figure?! I tried the most conservative estimate I could imagine (least amount in- 100 Galleons, lowest interest imaginable- 3 percent). Still... a thousand years is a LOT of interest.
687,424,023,116,962.8 - Galleons. At... what is YOUR conversion? Five pounds to the Galleon? 10? 20? (ficworld is all over the place on that, but mostly it's five.)
That six hundred eighty seven TRILLION Galleons PLUS an extra 424 billion more as chump change.

All that for a piddly enough amount in that it's totally believable.

BTW, even if Godric had, literally, only ONE Galleon, the three percent, compounded for one thousand years... was G 6,874,240,231,169.63. (Six point eight seven Trillion). Half the US national debt, even if it was dollars, but its like seven times that. (the pound being stronger than the dollar)

The point is... think before you throw out a number that will sound ridiculous to your readers. Yes, 12 million Galleons is alot of money. And a thousand years is a crazy big number for interest calculations. Hell, the US is only 244 years old! There are older, truly "old money" bank accounts in europe, than that.
I just wonder how much YOU think Godric had in the bank when he died? Hmmm? hundreds? Thousands? A Galleon could probably feed the town for a week, back then. Most of the poor sods had never actually SEEN a gold Galleon coin. If Gringotts even minted them, then.
Possibly, only a rich man would have seventeen sickles to equal that one galleon