Many times in this story, you used "dairy" when you should have used "diary".

Dairy means either a farm where animals provide milk, or oil-based foods such as milk, cheese, or ice cream.

A diary is a book or journal that people write in to record thoughts, feelings, or events.

Hope this helps. Take care of yourself.

So I'm 100% in favor of adding Fleur and Dora to the harem, (I'm even for Bill bashing though if I think this fanfic won't go in that direction).
After how it goes for Fleur why not a first meeting at the World Cup of Quidditch where Harry rescue Fleur and Gabrielle against the Death Eaters.

You should work on your English; I understand what you are trying to write. Sometimes you just repeat your idea in different wording more than once.

I've not read either of your stories YET, but noticed your warning in the story Summary that it "Can be long between updates" and felt it was perhaps overstated. At an average of approximately 7.5k words per chapter and pumping them out well over twice per month on average, this story seems to be going up far faster than most fics on the site. Granted, like your other story, you probably started off posting many chapters very quickly so that "average" stats are somewhat misleading, but they're still extreme enough as to be very impressive. ;-)

The only reason I haven't started either of your fics yet is that my memory isn't what it used to be and I"d spend way too much time having to reread several chapters each time there's a new posting just to refresh the more recently forgotten context.

Here's lookging forward to both your fics "Completing" so I may enjoy reading them straight through. ;-)

This is a reiew of the description not the first chapter.

I highly recommend changing the description of this story because urrently, you dont have one. Everything there is about the the setup, the background. It tells nothing of what this story is about.

Good luck on your first harry potter story

Not bad. I look forward to Malfoy purpling with rage when he finds out he wasted his money.
Looking forward to year 4.

Great story so far. I like the idea of both Fleur and Dora in Harry's harem. I suggest that Harry rescue Fleur at the world cup and invokes a left debt because of her veela heritage. I also suggest that when Harry meets Dora that he has a partial break through of a block on his magic that shows he is a metamorphmagus. This gives Dora a reason to be with Harry to train him and also activates an old marriage contract between the Blacks and Potters or another of Harry's houses. Keep up the great work.

On the harem bit, I vote both Fleur and Tonks join Harry's harem. Tonks is always fun and I think her and Fleur can tease Harry very well together. As for how they meet, I've always been a fan of Harry saving Fleur and Gabrielle when Death Eaters attack at the world cup, but also of Fleur initially being interested in Harry because he's immune to the allure. So I think the ideal thing would be for Fleur's family to be sitting in the Minister's box as Fudge's guests, and to have a Fleur POV where Fleur notices that Harry is the only one unaffected by the Veela mascots. Then he can save her and Gabrielle as strangers and that should plant the seed of her attraction.

Fleur's father can be used as a plot device to counter Dumbledore's plans and freeing Sirius; a father would do anything for the man who saved his daughters from a fate worse than death.

For the love of all that is correct spelling and grammar PLEASE find a beta who speaks and writes English to help you. Every time you tried to type diary it's spelled dairy, as in milk.

I must say when I first started reading this, I found it a little hard to read with all the spelling mistakes but also the way it’s written, but I can see you have improved a fair bit and the story has gotten better, anyway please continue this soon thanks!

I liked the Slytherin bits with Daphne and Lily, admittedly skimmed over the canon like bits at the end. I'll be glad to see the end of third year. If there's a question that needs answering it might be better to pose it sooner so we can be thinking about it.

Love your story. As always I can't wait until the next chapter is posted.

This is a great story and really good off the real book. Just some small punctuation and spelling problems but that’s all. Really enjoy reading the FanFic and hope you release the next chapter soon.

This is one of the worst, error laden story on FanFiction that I've ever read. So many spelling errors, typo's, wrong words, wrong tenses, etc., etc. I know that English is not your 1st language but please get a beta to correct all of the errors and make the story more readable.

Pretty good. Like the basilisk potion, I just wonder if it'll actually be big enough to be bad ass.