Me parece potencialmente nteresante,pero la verdad es que es decepcionante debido a esyps y muchos mas posibles desperfectos como factores negativpos de tu Fanfiction asi,puede ser genial y una excelente historia,solo que la implementaste muy irregulamrnete

La historia es confusa,poco clara y ademas carece de un buen numero de capitulos,lo que la estropea.
Ademas no queda muy bien aplicar dimensiones o galaxias paralelas,es mas exacto la terminologia de una gaolaxia diferente u otra galaxia

Aprovecha conceptos parciales de los canones y universos ficticios respectivos de Alien y EVE Online.

When’s that update coming, friend?

Will there be an update soon?

Nice Story

interesting

Great chapter. Some of the grammar feels a little like a rush job. Cerberus and the Illusive Man are going to die a horrible death, and the Reapers are going to wish they were never created.

Oh and you are either forgetting or not using a couple very important bits of Lore specifically that the Precursors assigned the Mantle to Humanity or more like Humanity was meant to inherit it because apparently the Precursors decided to try and find a species to replace them. Anyways lastly as the official lore goes the Forerunners wiped out all but a few of the Precursors due to their jealousy and taking the mantle for themselves. All but one turned themselves into the powder for revenge to rise again however that got corrupted by time. The last one was found later after Humanity Caused the flood to be borne, it was imprisoned for a while until it decided to transfer it’s consciousness to the Flood hive mind for the revenge against the Forerunners.

So anyways specifics in this chapter doesn’t overly make much sense in terms of lore, however of course this is AU so whatever still something to note.

Ok so either you haven’t done much to any research into the Flood outbreak on Installation 05 or your just ignoring it. The Flood outbreak happened around 2,773 years after the Halo rings were fired which means nobody could actually “come and have action taken” additionally the outbreak was the direct result of negligence by the monitor in charge. It is said on the wiki that it is believed it was either caused by a malfunction or a meddling visiting species. Now the Monitor did indeed do a lot to stop it, first since the outbreak happened right around the library the monitor activated the quarantine zone or sentinel wall. Afterwards the Monitor attempted to step in and control the situation however “Somehow, the Flood on the ring were able to amass enough biomass to create a Gravemindtaken from the wiki) so the Moniter was captured by the Gravemind as a result. Since this was just after activating the Sentinel wall it means that unfortunately the sentinels lacked a proper controlling intelligence so the flood was able to survive until they were freed by the Arbiter.

Also additionally there is no “Overseer” for security reasons. Specifically in case If the Ark was ever captured by the Flood. So as such the only thing besides being able to fire all the rings the Ark was solely being able to monitor the structural integrity of the Halos without revealing their information.

Anyways the Ark does have a Monitor however unfortunately just like 343 it went rampant. So as the UNSC found out when they reopened the portal, the Ark couldn’t actually send any ships through slip space and instead had to wait until the portal was reopened again. Which then a retriever Sentinel came out and started attacking until it was destroyed.

So all in all the Stalemate on installation 05 was inevitable because first the Sentinels from the Ark couldn’t get to any of the other installations and secondly there was no non-rampant Monitor to control the Sentinels.

However a little side note I thought I remember 343 mention to the Master Chief about the Sentinels being produced on the Ark after getting on the pelican after looking at the Cartographer, I thought he said that they were being sent to the other installations however I can’t find that as a function on the wiki or anything else. However if so then all that means is that the Sentinels would of always been able to uphold the Sentinel wall. As there’s no Monitor to direct the Sentinels.

For the Mantle! Show the primitive scum what a real galactic power is!

I'm guessing English is your second language? This fic would benefit from some proofreading to smoothe out some serious chunk. Also, I assume you write the blam blams and pew pews to help imagine it in your head; please don't. They're utterly unecessary and useless. It's bad writing, but thankfully it's only scattered in a few places. All your noises should be read and not described through onomatopoeia. Still, not too bad.

Master Chief needs to have a higher rank rather than having to call other humans sir. He literally is the ultimate Reclaimer. He should be the Reclaimer Rep on the Forerunner Command staff, which currently is only AI. And I agree, no world killing technology should be shared with the Systems Alliance and the rest of the Citadel races.

I love the Ancient Human addition and the dig at the Forerunners and how they don't learn from their mistakes, keep it going and update soon please.

please update this story